Gilbert Gottfried's Bird Voice Acting Roles

Gilbert Gottfried has made a career out of voicing birds.  Oh, and being a comedian.  But the bird thing is really weird--he plays a lot of birds...

5: The Woodpecker (Timon & Pumbaa) - Gilbert plays a mean looking woodpecker in this straight-to-video sequel to The Lion King.

4: Duck (Lemony Snicket's: A Series of Unfortunate Events) - Don't care about the movie at all; didn't see it; whatever.  But I understand Gilbert plays a duck.

3: Digit (Cyberchase) - I've watched this show with my kid, mainly because it has Gilbert doing this bird's voice and Christopher Lloyd as the bad guy.

2: Aflac Duck - He was fired form this role after Tweeting some jokes about the Tsunami that ravaged Japan a few years back.  Aflac then hired a much cheaper hack who sounds exactly like Gilbert to voice the duck. A cynical person would say Aflac used the opportunity to dump Gilbert's salary and hire someone much cheaper.

1: Iago (Aladdin) - I'm so ticked off, I'm molting!  Great movie, great character, great gig for Gilbert.  He didn't even need to do a voice--it's just him.

I would personally love to see an animated bird acting out Gilbert's telling of The Aristocrats, but maybe that's just me.  Comments below, like us on Facebook, find us on Twitter @KoozTop5, yada yada yada...

Inappropriate Valentine's Day Candy Heart Messages

These Valentine's Day candy heart messages are not necessarily bad, but they really shouldn't be in the box of candy your kid is bringing to school.  Not that we're judging...

5: Gave You STD

4: Aunt Flo Says No

3: Pee on Me

2: No Gag Reflex

1: U Have Acute Angina

Happy Valentine's Day!  Here's hoping you don't get any of these.  Or do.   Whatever makes you happy! Show us some love by liking us on Facebook!

Things To Make With Snow

Next time Nemogeddon strikes, get your gloves and be prepared to make the following.

5: Snow Angel - Best way to get freeeeeeezing cold.

4: Igloo - Yeah, by the time you pack the third block, you're ready to go inside.

3: Snowman - To do it right, get some coal, a carrot, a pipe, a scarf, and a top hat. Don't feel like investing a fortune? Naked with rock eyes, nose, and smile is fine too.

2: Snowballs - Because what else are you going throw at passing trucks?

1: Snowcone - Yum! Delicious, and calorie-free since you don't have all that sweet flavoring... Wait... No sweet flavoring. Let me rethink delicious...

So, if you're still among those waiting to be dug out, or if you're just waiting for the next nor'easter, keep these tips in mind!

Reasons the Pope Will Step Down

Pope Benedict XVI is stepping down on February 28th.  Here's our thoughts as to why.

5: The world ends March 1, and he wants to get one good night of partying in.

4: He just learned the Pope can't date!

3: Just once he'd like to sleep in on a Sunday.

2: Neck problems--that hat is heavy!

1: He's got to get ready for Spring Training.

The Pope actually cites deteriorating strength, and we wish him well. Abdicating a position of absolute authority is rare in history--good for him for putting the needs of his group ahead of his ego.  Don't even try to lie and say you don't have your own theory.  Tell us below!