Saturday, September 10, 2011

Top 5 Drinking Holidays

Many holidays provide an excuse to drink.  Some seem to exist only to promote consumption of alcohol.  The best of these is the subject of this Kooz Top 5.  (Note, I couldn't include "anyone's birthday" because although it always provides a great excuse to drink, it isn't technically a recognized holiday.)

5: Fourth of July - BBQ and beer.  U-S-A!  These colors don't run!  Team America, f*ck yeah!  Obama is a Muslim!  (Oops, sorry.)  Joking aside, in the U.S., this is a great day because it's a chance for families to get together, then leave and get drunk with friends!

4: Cinco de Mayo - Something happened in Mexican history on this day--I challenge you to name what it was.  (I further challenge those of you who answer to remember by the end of the night.  Tequila = borracho = perdida de la memoria.  !Juepa!)

3: New Years Eve - Yay!  We made it around the sun one more time!  Let's sing a song incorrectly (it's "auld," not "old") and drink gross $6 champagne!  We can't taste it anyhow; we've been hammered since well before they wheeled out Dick Clark's corpse!

2: Halloween - Finally, a holiday that mixes horror, humor, candy, and mysterious boozy punch.  What more could you want?!?  (Oh, you want to be someone or something else for a day, act like an ass, and get away with it?  Yeah, Halloween is cool for that too.)

1: St. Patrick's Day - Named for the famous Catholic drunkard, St. Paddy [citation needed], this is the pinnacle of drinker's holiday.  Everybody's Irish (read, drunk) on St. Patrick's Day.  Celebrate by wearing silly green hats and shirts and buttons with slogans that were hilarious 20 years ago.  Guinness and Irish Car Bombs are the drinks of choice, but whatever--as long as you're stumbling home, you did it right.

Top 5 worst days for these holidays' celebrants?  Fifth of July, Seis de Mayo, New Years Day, etc...  Thoughts?


  1. I wouldn't put Halloween over NYE. When I think of Halloween I don't necessarily think of drinking. NYE definitely.

  2. Even though it couldn't possibly make this list, I'm always very drunk on Christmas.

  3. Night before Thanksgiving.

  4. Night before every holiday, especially the ones that give you a 3 day weekend