Thursday, September 15, 2011

Top 5 Worst Supports for Quack Cures

Lose weight instantly!  Amazing cancer cure!  Increase your "length" by up to 4 inches!  Miracle cures are more popular today than snake oil was a century ago, but it's mostly bullshit.  Here's the worst justifications of this garbage.

5: It utilizes "Space Age" technology - The space age began when the Soviets launched Sputnik in October of 1957.  This is a claim that the technology the product uses is half a century old.  When the Space Age began, most people had never seen color tv.  Wowee!  It's super-dooper!

4: It's based on "ancient Eastern" knowledge - Old doesn't mean good or effective.  Ancient Egyptians used spells and potions to drive out the demons of disease; ancient Olmecs ritually sacrificed children to appease... whoever.  The idea of adopting these practices is silly.  However, if it's an ancient Chinese secret, you've got a bullshit money magnet!

3: It uses the power of magnets, or the earth's magnetic field - Speaking of magnets, we all know what they do--they stick to your fridge.  Study upon study has confirmed they have no affect on pain alleviation (the iron in your blood is not even ferromagnetic!).  But we've seen magnets stick to stuff, so they must help, right?

2: It's a secret that "the doctors don't want you to know" - Yes, they do.  That's the point.  People get hurt and sick constantly, so doctor's are flush without conspiring to keep you ill.  If doctors (medical researchers) discover a better method of pain management, cancer prevention, etc., we hear about it through published medical studies.  Think your doctor wouldn't want the Nobel Prize for curing AIDS?

1: Anything that uses the word "quantum" - Quantum mechanics is a field of study in physics dealing with sub-atomic particles and their interactions.  Gaining a working knowledge of quantum mechanics takes years of study, and is so hard to master that physicist Richard Feynman famously said: "Anyone who says that they understand quantum mechanics does not understand quantum mechanics."  One thing scientists can say--the study of quantum mechanics has yet to produce useful medical effects.  But it sounds scientific enough to separate you from your money.

My favorite bit of pseudo-scientific healing equipment crams everything the guy could think of into one item.  It's a bracelet made of copper with magnets embedded in it and the word "Jesus" inscribed on the front.  It's advertised as having "the soothing power of copper, penetrating power of magnets, and healing power of Jesus"--I'm sure it's based on the principles of quantum theory too...  Have you ever been duped by a false claim?  We'd love to hear about it (and we're sorry)!


  1. My favorite is #5. Never would have thought about it that way.
    And who would actually pay for that Jesus bracelet?

  2. How about the "herb foot pad" that promises to detox your body of all toxins? I think my body actually enjoys its toxins, and I am keeping them. Thank you very much! However, for Christmas would you get that Jesus bracelet for me? :-)

  3. On tap top 5 favorite colors

  4. "head on" apply directly to the forehead!