Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Top 5 Grossest Physical "Improvements"

Every woman I've known has tried to doll themselves up to some degree before going out.  Some women go several steps further, having breast implants or Botox treatments.  Here are the top 5 things women do to look better, but which make them look far, far worse.

5: Over-plucking - Removing your eyebrows and painting (or worse, tattooing) them back on looks bad.  Nobody's clamoring for a girl with clown eyebrows.

4: Excessive makeup - Speaking of clowns...  If applying your makeup takes you more than 20 minutes, you're using too much.  If someone pokes your face and never reaches skin, you're using too much.  If anyone close to you can smell only your makeup, you're using too much.  Most of us aren't looking for a girl who looks like she's made of plastic--we want Barbie's figure, not her skin.  (Seriously though, we don't want Barbie's figure either--it's weirdly proportioned.)

3: Manicure nightmare - Some girls get the French manicure with the black line between the white and pink parts.  This is not hot.  Instead, it makes it look like you've been digging through muddy trash and did a poor job washing your hands.

2: Toenail grooming - If you find yourself meticulously painting (or having someone else paint) your really long toenails, you have a problem.  Sure pedicures can look good, but long toenails are gross, whether pink, red, or whatever.  Also, leaving a pedicure with long nails shows you know they are long, you had an opportunity to remedy the situation, and you did nothing.  Along the same lines, a french manicure on your toes makes it look like you have long toenails, even if you don't.  Bad, bad, bad.

1: Lips with too much silicone - Someone finds this look hot.  Someone must because if you search "silicone," the first things you find are pages of pictures of girls with bad silicone lips, which shows a lot of girls are doing this.  Really though, this is not good.  I sorta feel bad for this person, but then, she seems pretty pleased, so who am I to judge?  

Ladies, please don't do these things; natural is nice.  Sorry for the straight-male-centric stance in this post, but I am what I am.  So, what do you think--am I way off base?  Post your comments below, and share on FB/Twitter/G+, or follow the blog.


  1. 5) completely agree.
    4) completely agree.
    3) I've never said "no" because of weird finger nails on a women.
    2) Don't stub your toe like that. There will be extreme consequences.
    1) This girl double fouled because she has the eyebrows from 5 to go along with those terrible puffy duck lips.

  2. Ha ha ha!  Hysterical!  Agree with everything ....except, I do like French on nicely manicured (and trimmed) toes..in the summer.

  3. I appreciate nicely manicured and trimmed toes--the "trimmed" part is the key!

  4. hahaha..hilarious!! Even I like the way these ladies were born, natural and raw!