Friday, December 9, 2011

Top 5 Smurfs

In the 80s, schtroumpfs were everywhere--but we know them as smurfs.  They were on toy store shelves, television, stickers, notebooks, backpacks, lunch boxes; basically anything that could be marketed to a kid had a picture of a smurf slapped onto it.  Their indelible blue faces are burned into my memory.  Here are my top 5 favorite smurfs:

5: Brainy Smurf - Brainy was a know-it-all, a kiss-ass, and an all-around douche.  He was integral to the show, filling the role of "the asshole you love to hate."

4: Jokey Smurf - Jokey's sole contribution to the smurfdom is that he hands other smurfs presents which blow up in their faces.  He's basically a domestic terrorist.  Ridiculous.

3: Smurfette - Gargamel was an evil wizard who wanted to catch smurfs to either eat them (pretty dark, huh?) or turn them into gold.  To capture them, he created a smurf of his own--Smurfette--to lure the other smurfs to him.  She was the first (and for a long time, only) female smurf, giving rise to endless jokes about how all the boy smurfs want to smurf her in the smurf.

2: Vanity Smurf - The smurfs were progressive enough to have a gay character; backwards enough to have him be a caricature of a gay man; and too chicken-shit to be honest and open about it.  Well, it's time to open up the closet door and step on out, Vanity.  It's the 21st century and nobody gives a smurf anymore (except Rick Perry).  

1: Grouchy Smurf - The 80s were a different time; a time where kids' cartoon characters could talk about "hating" things with reckless abandon, and nobody cared.  Grouchy's catchphrase was, "I hate [whatever/whoever]!"  Well Grouchy, I love the lessons you impressed upon my young mind--thanks, and smurf you.

These are the best--or do you think I'm wrong?  Maybe you've seen the movie and that changes things in your eyes?  Share your favorites below.

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  1. As of today, April 16, 2012, this is by far the most viewed page on the KT5, due largely to the popularity of people searching for smurf images, believe it or not.  But, it is also one of the only posts with no comments!  I am posting this to change that.  :)

    But if any of you have anything you'd like to share about the Smurfs, pass it along! 

  2. luv the smurfs my favs LOL :):):)

  3. luv them 2 :) :) :) :)

  4. dangerously stupedoneApril 27, 2012 at 12:06 AM

    hi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!