Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Top 5 Worst Christmas Songs

Intentionally not included on this list are songs that have no following.  For example, there are novelty songs like those using only rubber bands; and there are obnoxious and bad punk cover songs of holiday standards, but nobody listens to these.  This list is intended to compile the 5 popular worst Christmas songs.

5: Do They Know It's Christmas? - Alright, the song isn't so bad, but as I previously noted, the lyrics are too offensive to not include on this list.

4: Dominick the Donkey - When this song was released in 1960, the Italian community loved it.  Now it sounds like a goombah caricature.  It's also just annoying to go from White Christmas or All I Want For Christmas Is You to this abrasive, annoying song.

3: ?Donde Esta Santa Claus? - Aww, it's a kid singing in a different language, isn't that cute?  Nope.

2: We Wish You A Merry Christmas - One verse says, "Oh, bring us a figgy pudding."  Yeah, everyone's clamoring for figgy pudding.  Sounds amazing.  Sure.  And now that the demands are stated, the next verse: "We won't go until we get some."  Nice; really nice. Not only do you want me to give you something crappy-sounding that I'm sure not to have on hand, but you are threatening me with your continued presence unless I acquiesce.  What a terrible song.

1: Christmas Shoes - This is a song about a heartless, hell-bound cashier and his devilish refusal to, on Christmas Eve, provide a cheap pair of woman's shoes to a poor boy which the boy only wants to bring to his mother so she can wear them to meet Jesus after she dies that night from cancer.  Wait, what?  It isn't about the cashier?  Oh, it's about the narrator who learns the true meaning of Christmas when he buys the shoes for the boy?  Well ain't that just sappy.  Notice, the cashier is still a dick who is looking to close the sale.

There are so many beautiful Christmas songs out there, but there are plenty of bad ones as well.  Let's hear what lousy Christmas songs you think were snubbed from this list?  Post your comments below, and please share this on Facebook!


  1. I left off the 12 Days of Christmas because, while it's annoying, I think these are worse.  I occurs to me that there are a ton of terrible parodies and songs inspired by the 12 Days (Destiny's Child's 8 Days of Christmas, or the 12 Barks of Christmas, etc.).  These probably belong somewhere up there, maybe as a group entry.

  2. I always love the song Christmas Shoes . it reminds me someone special in my this time I think you quoted it wrong.......
    (anyway it's my personal opinion)..........

  3. Personally, I love everything about "Do they Know It's Christmas?" But I've never even heard of "Christmas Shoes." Maybe I'm just stuck in December 1984.

    -Jim in LA

  4. Vimal Dwivedi I understand your point, and I quoted it as I did because I was trying to be funny (and obviously failing).  I think it's a little too sappy, but that's fine.

    @3cb42db01b5edab948a576e1bf94a281 (Jim in LA) I really love Do They Know It's Christmas? too, but man, those lyrics are just brutal...