Top 5 Best Jobs for Elves

We're all familiar with elves--the little beings wearing green who have permeated our culture through fairy tales and Dungeons & Dragons.  Ever wonder what career paths elves have open to them?  I have.  Here are the best careers for elves:

5: House Elf - Benefits: possibly live at Hogwarts; have tremendous magical powers; occasionally receive socks as gifts; if you are ugly, it's okay, as you are surrounded by other ugly elves.  Detriments: you are a slave.

4: Dentist - Benefits: fulfill lifelong dream.  Detriments: everyone, including Santa Claus, will hate you.

3: Toy Maker - Benefits: no work on Christmas.  Detriments: work the other 364 days every year in frigid temperatures for eternity; learn to make an iPad or kids will think the fruits of your labor are crap.

2: Cobbler - Benefits: make shoes at night and have days free.  Detriments: live with a poor cobbler who takes full credit (and accepts and keeps full payments) for all your work.

1: Cookie Maker - Benefits: live in a tree; free cookies in many delicious varieties.  Detriments: live your life in constant fear of squirrels, owls, and other nefarious elf-hating tree-dwellers.

If you were an elf, what would you do for a living?  Share below!