Monday, January 2, 2012

Top 5 Realistic New Year's Resolutions

Here are my resolutions for the new year, along with how I expect them to go.  I resolve to:

5: Visit Family and Friends - Respond "yes" to every Evite; skip the New Year's brunch I'm invited to because I'm hung over.  Decide that since I've already blown this one, I'll focus on the other four.

4: Start Exercising - Sign up for a gym membership.  Go twice, then sign up for a spin class that I skip.  Constantly find excuses to avoid going to the gym.  By June, start looking into what the penalty is for canceling my gym membership early.

3: Quit Drinking - Let's see, I started drinking on New year's Eve, but kept drinking past midnight.  Busted... Next?

2: Eat Healthy - ("Healthily"?  I dunno.)  Eat yogurt for breakfast, almonds for a snack, salad for lunch, and fish for dinner; crash and eat a tub of ice cream in front of the t.v. at 11:30; go to bed wallowing in self-loathing and contempt, feeling like the fat pig I am and always will be.  Keep this up until January 3rd, then lose all pretense of eating right.

1: Save Money - Only spend money on things that I need to.  Waste money on a gym membership, booze, ice cream.  Resolve to make better resolutions next year.

Share your resolutions below!  (Or tell us how quickly you broke them!)


  1. OMG! David these words are like straight out from my heart.I feel absolutely same for the new year, but only thing is that I might try it a bit more from my side to get things in order.

  2. cool resolution!

    But this new year my only resolution is "take care and be fair"

    *Applicable to all things in my life.

    I have also a gift for you too...Click here to see

  3. I hear you Arnab.  I think I need to get my life in order this year as well...

  4. Nayan, thank you!  That is quite an honor!  I appreciate it!

  5. Here are mine resolutions: lose some more weight, write my blog every day (khm khm), visit my family and friends more often...