Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Top 5 Lyrics by Dirty Old Men (and a Woman)

Musicians are free to bend a lot of rules--Bob Marley smoked blunts on stage, Sinatra was tied to the mob, and Tupac shot a guy (or not, but that's pretty much a rapper staple, no?).  Occasionally, singers cross a line.  Submitted for your approval, five inappropriate songs about jailbait.

5: Joan Jett & the Blackhearts (I Love Rock N Roll) - "Saw him dancin' there by the record machine; knew he must've been about 17..."  She goes on to say she could tell it wouldn't be long until he was "with her"...  That could mean something dirty, but although this is less than wholesome, it's not jail-worthy.

4: The Beatles (I Saw Her Standing There) - "She was just 17, if you know what I mean..."  We do, but since the song goes on to talk about dancing with her, we'll wink, nod, and STFU.

3: Ringo Starr (You're 16 (You're Beautiful, and You're Mine)) - The title is all you need to know.  Ringo was in his mid-thirties when he recorded this in 1974.  Okay, Ringo's isn't the original version, but since he's already on this list (at #4--yeah, he's the Beatle that everyone forgets), we know what he's into.  

2: Winger (Seventeen) - "She's only 17, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me."  Whose daddy?  If Winger's, then maybe he's 17 or younger and this is all okay.  However, I suspect I'm wrong, and Winger is all about the statutory...

1: Bell Biv Devoe (Do Me!) - "Backstage, underage; adolescent, "how you 'doin?"  "Fine."  She replied, and I decided I'd like to do the wild thing.  Action took place, (hey) kind of like, (come on) don't forget the "j" the "i" the "m" the "m" the "y" y'all, I need a body bag."  "Jimmy" and "body bag" are synonyms for condom, and the "wild thing" is a euphemism for sex.  Work it out.  BBD should be in jail.

Dedicated to R. Kelly, which is ridiculous.  And sad.  But at least this is funny.  So you do you know of others?  If so, please share them below...  And please, share this on Facebook or Twitter if you've enjoyed the post!


  1. Never realized the wordplay in that Winger tune. Very clever if it's intentional. Reminds me of the Kinks' "Lola..."

    "I'm glad I'm a man, and so is Lola."

  2. Yes!  I talk about the Lola wordplay in that very lyric all the time!  

    For anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about: is Lola glad I'm a man, is she glad she's a man, or am I glad she's a man?  Any one of the three changes the song.  Awesome lyric. 

    I'm sure Winger's wasn't intentional.  I don't think anybody interprets it that way...