Monday, February 6, 2012

Top 5 Most Annoying Celebrity Chefs

We previously tackled the best celebrity chefs, and had a hard time narrowing down the list to 5.  Picking the 5 worst celebrity chefs was much easier--there are only about 7 to choose from, three of which are awful, which really makes it a 4-way battle for the final two slots...  And the winners(?) are:

"Paula hungry!"  [photo credit: examiner.com]
5: Paula Deen - She seems nice, really, but she wants to kill you with food.  But don't take my word for it, Anthony Bourdain recently called her the "worst, most dangerous person in America."

"Like what you see, sailor?"
4: Robert Irvine - He looks like he could kick my ass, which may be why he's back on the air despite having lied on his resume to The Food Network and telling them he used to cook for the queen, and other falsehoods.  That's enough to get him on the list, but add to it that his recent show Restaurant: Impossible is a complete ripoff of Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, only not done as well.

I have to use a decent picture, because Sandra Lee is apparently a vengeful god.
3: Sandra Lee - She is probably nice and does good stuff for people in need, but as a celebrity chef, she sucks.  Her name sounds suspiciously like Sarah Lee, and her cooking isn't too far from it either.  Her show is Semi-Homemade, in which she takes pre-made food, adds a thing or two, then declares an amazing cookery win for herself.  If you make a cake from a box, beating in a bit of oil and an egg or two, you do exactly as much cooking/baking as this talentless hack.

"Kirk to Enterprise, one to beam from the restaurant."  [photo credit: njmonthly.com]
2: Bobby Flay - Ego alert.  This jerk thinks he is god's gift to cooking.  Somehow, this charisma-free dope became the poster boy for The Food Network.  In his show Throwdown! With Bobby Flay, he tricks chefs and bakers into thinking they are having a Food Network feature about them, then he surprises them in front of a crowd and challenges them to a cook-off of their specialty (which he has spent a week modifying).  In this ego trip disguised as a show, Flay consistently shows that he is the best at making everything in the world.  He also completely dropped the ball in his big network break, NBC's America's Next Great Restaurant, in which he didn't understand several of the restaurant ideas, and didn't develop other due again to his enormous ego.  He finally chose to develop the "healthy soul food" concept.  Yeah, that's a winner--nice insight.

Everything about this guys screams, "Asshole"!
1: Rocco Dispirito - This smug asshole was an up-and-coming chef who allowed "stardom" to go to his head.  He starred in the reality show The Restaurant, which serves as an excellent template for opening a restaurant and immediately causing it to fail.  Some jackass over at Bravo gave him another bite at the apple with his show Rocco's Dinner Party which, to my knowledge, has not yet been cancelled.  In this show, Rocco is a jerk to chefs who cook for him, then he sends one home with some money.  I don't know, he's just an asshole.

Are you as sick of these cooking reality shows as I am?  Are there any more "how to cook shows"?  Seems like everything is a competition or a "let's visit some random place and pretend their burgers are amazing"-type show.  Share your thoughts or frustrations below, or let me know who I left off the list!

11 comments:

  1. I don't mind Paula Deen, she never kids anyone about how unhealthy her food is. But you are pretty spot on about these other chefs. And I use that term loosely for Sandra Lee.
    Also, loved your caption on the Bobby Flay picture. I thought the same thing!

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  2. I miss Julia Child...she could teach a drunk monkey to cook.

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  3. Nothing wrong with Sandra Lee. Her thing is to show people how to jazz up things when they have no time or are low on supplies.

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  4. Fair enough, but does that deserve a show on the Food Network?  I can tell you to add walnuts and chocolate chips to your brownies, but I don't deserve a show for it.  But that's what's great about these lists--we can disagree and there is some legitimate debate!

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  5. amazing blog post.
    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111022011743AAUIBRx

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  6. wheres the barefoot contessa?

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  7. I think she's standing comfortably in the #6 spot...

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  8. Robert Irvine is number one, Rachel Ray belongs there but the others .......you have a problem with talented chefs for some reason.

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  9. Nope, just asshole chefs. :)

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  10. A top 5 most annoying chef list without Guy Fieri? Madness! ;)

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  11. I agree, but there are only 5 slots--there's a strong argument to be had for Guy though...

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