Friday, February 24, 2012

Top 5 Walker, Texas Ranger Moments

Guest Blogger Sooz offers up today's top 5...

The other day I happened to catch an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. More specifically, I caught about the first 10 minutes of this episode, titled El Coyote, before my husband claimed he couldn't watch another second.  That didn't stop me from finding 5 fantastic things about this show.  In fact I am so certain that I've found the top 5 things about the show that I don't ever feel the need to see the show again.  Without further ado, here you go.

5: Walker, Texas Ranger, can find and rescue you based solely on the description that you are "in the middle of the city, near a fountain," even after you have run from that spot to a deserted loading dock blocks away.   Texas Ranger training is very, very good.

4: The above precise location description was given by an exploited Mexican alien I'll refer to as Sue-Sue.   After Sue-Sue runs away from a pimp and the John that rips her dress at her "first" forced hooking job, she loses her shoes and makes her way to a pay phone.  She then calls her sister-in-law for help.  Fortuitously, the sister-in-law just so happens to be Walker, Texas Ranger's waitress, and she answers the phone with a hearty "you're in America!"  It might seem odd that this woman has the phone number to the restaurant her husband's sister works at, but she clears that up first thing in this desperate call for help by saying that her husband gave her the number before they left Mexico.  And obviously she memorized it.  The phone number to her husband's sister's place of work.  Unbelievable, right?  I mean who uses a pay phone?

3: The blue screen really brings out Chuck's eyes, don't you think?

2: Chuck Norris sing-talks the theme song.  Really.  Give it a listen.  Also, one of the lyrics is "when you're in Texas look behind you, because that's where the ranger's gonna be."  Shudder.

1: Walker, Texas Ranger, wears a snazzy sweater-jacket.  Now if anyone can rock a sweater-jacket, it's this chick, but that doesn't stop Chuck Norris from giving it a go.  Maybe he even knitted it himself.  I just wish I had a screen shot for you, but you will have to use your imagination.

I know this show isn't currently running (right?), but I think it's pretty clear that Chuck Norris was doing everything he possibly could to get someone to try to kick his ass.  Once those Chuck Norris "facts" came to light he probably had a hell of a time finding any opponents, worthy or not.

Are you a fan of this show who can identify some better moments?  Think I should watch another ten minutes some time?  Please let me know in the comments below.  And don't forget to "like" our new Facebook page and share this post with your friends!


  1. Walker, Texas Ranger = worse than a roundhouse kick from #ChuckNorris.

  2. You are effing hilarious, Sooz.