Saturday, March 3, 2012

Top 5 Annoying Food Terms

Guest Blogger Jessica Nieves offers up today's Top 5...

Pic is from BBQGeek.com, a site I just discovered that looks pretty awesome.
Here's hoping they don't mind our using the picture in exchange for the plug!
Has anyone else noticed that with the rise of shows like Top ChefIron Chef America, and many other cooking/restaurant shows, Americans seem to think they now need to use fancy terms to describe what they’re serving either in their homes or what's served in restaurants?  Here's the most annoying terms that have ventured into the vernacular:


5: Culinary Arts – Unless you’ve gone to one of the many institutes to become a chef, you are cooking.  If you haven’t been classically trained then you are most likely following a recipe--which, let’s face it, is not an art.

4: Pommes Dauphin – “Deep fried crispy potato puffs”; lets call it like it is--either tater tots or French fries.

3: Coulis – This “fruit sauce” is better know as jam or jelly.  You can buy it in the grocery store.  Smuckers makes some great all-around jelly’s, or if you feel like being fancy you can go to Whole Foods, Fairway, or Trader Joe’s and get some organic brand with some fancy ingredient like boysenberry (but be honest--its still jelly).

2: Pain Perdu – Defined as “slices of bread dipped in batter then cooked in a pan.”  Sounds a lot like French toast to me.  Seriously why?

1: Haricot Vert – This has to be my least favorite term ever.  I have actually passed over buying green beans labeled as Haricot Vert on principle alone.  On America’s Worst Cooks a couple weeks ago, Bobby Flay--who is a complete tool [ed.: Agreed!]--yelled at one of his trainees when they called it green beans.  I wanted to reach through the t.v. and choke him!  There is no difference.  Please stop calling it Haricot Vert and please cut the tips on both ends…  (I hate that little wiry piece you leave on trying to make your dish look fancier.  Without fail it gets stuck in my teeth.)

Not quite the top 5 but super close “Amuse-bouche” yes it rhymes with douche--and that’s what you are if you use this term instead of appetizer or hor’ doeurve.  Oh, and “Ahi” is Tuna, plain and simple.  What culinary terms make your stomach churn?  Share your thoughts below, and be sure to "like" us using the handy link at the top of the page!

10 comments:

  1. Great post, Jess.  It reminds me of all the other things that went along with the culinary revolution that's started about a decade ago--like how everybody started putting truffles and foie gras on everything...

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  2. Pretty sure aoili is mayo.

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  3. I also hate those political food names that came out a few years ago....... Freedom fries, freedom toast, hahaha

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  4. I don't know about terms, but there's nothing pleasant about the trend of flavored "foams" on food. Just looks like spit. Every time.

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  5. A lot of these names are given due to their country of origin. Do you think in France they would call Pommes Dauphin "tater tots"? No, they would call it by what the actual name is, which is Pommes Dauphin. People who go to college and study in the CULINARY ARTS are well versed in this knowledge and would not weaken a dish by giving it a name that a five-year-old would give to fried potato. For all we may know, the french gave these foods such names to distinguish the people with elegance and class as opposed to the swamp-water fat-ass dipwads such as yourself. But hey, it was your choice to live a life of ignorance. Personally I think this list and all of your other lists on here are just the product of your little hissy fit attacks.

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  6. It's a humor blog.  Settle down and grow a funny bone.  

    And by the way, people with "elegance and class" don't refer to people they've never met as "swamp-water-fat-ass dipwads" simply because they don't get the joke.  Grow up.

    And for the record, while my lists may be the products of my little hissy fit attacks, your comment is unquestionably a product of yours.  Nicely done.

    Ass.

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  7. That's a lot of anger there, not sure this blog is worth all that but glad we inspire feedback!
    Maybe you could do a list of top 5 food terms everyone should know? Then you could show off your knowledge without being such a dick about it. This blog is for fun.

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  8. Wow.  Apparently the meaning of irony is lost on you, Chii.  Criticizing someone for being ignorant while calling them a "swamp-water fat-ass dipwad."  Doesn't sound like  you're someone who has studied the LITERARY ARTS, though I'm sure you make a mean Pommes Dauphin.  

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  9. Hey Chii:  First, Good to know potatoes originated in France.  I always thought they originated in the Americas thousands of years ago and only made it to Europe as a result of colonization.  But then again I am an ignorant swamp water fat ass.  Second, If I were in France or eating in a French restaurant I would not have a problem eating haricot vert or ordering Pommes Dauphin, just as I would order Albondigas in a Spanish restaurant but I refuse to order Pain Perdu with strawberry coulis from the local diner...I want French Toast and Strawberry sauce.  Deal with it.

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