Friday, March 2, 2012

Top 5 Reasons I Deserve My Man Card

Alright, I went over why my man card should be revoked.  Here's why it shouldn't be:

5: I grill hand-formed burgers with cheese and hot sauce--if you request a mango chutney on yours you aren't allowed in my house.

4: I watch the shit out of boxing.  I've seen Cotto beat the hell out of Judah in person.  From the fifth row, I saw a nobody named Taurus Sykes scrap for 10 rounds only to lose a bullshit decision against Hasim Rahman.  I love bloody battles between warriors like Gatti vs. Ward or Corrales vs. Castillo.  The goal of the sport is to hit the other guy until he can't get up.  Yeah, what "manly" sport do you watch?  [Seriously, even if you don't like boxing, watch the Corrales/Castillo link--it's 2 minutes and maybe the best round of boxing I've ever seen.]

3: I will out drink you.  Beer, vodka, whiskey, whatever--I'm a six-foot-two boozing machine.  But more, I will out drink you as a sheer act of will, because I hate losing, especially to you.

2: My two year old barely knows his own last name, but he can tell you who won the Superbowl and that Eli Manning was the MVP.  I put that in his brain.

1: I don't always drink beer, but when I do, it sure as fuck ain't Dos Equis.  

So what do you think--should I get to keep my man card?  Comments below...  On second thought, keep your fucking man card.  If you actually carry a man card around, it says a hell of a lot about you, I reckon.

6 comments:

  1. Hey Kooz that's all what you need for a man card ??
    there's a lot of things which proves you are the man....

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  2. the fact that you listen to tori amos voids all 5 points above.

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  3. Yeah, the "man card" idea has been a running joke in the States for a while now--the more "manly" your activities, the higher the status of your "man card"--has nothing to do with actually being a man, like providing for my family, being a good father, husband, and son, etc.

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  4. I can't help it that she's awesome.

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  5. i guess if you like listening to angry whiny girl talk set to music.

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  6. When I'm healthy I'm a four-foot-eleven-inch boozing machine and a woman so there!

    Ps.  #1 is f'n priceless.

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