Monday, March 19, 2012

Top 5 Ways Nighttime TV Could Improve

I watch tv before bed, and I have for as long as I can remember.  However, it isn't without its problems.  Here are the top 5 fixes to make bedtime tv a better experience.

5: Don't play really good shows.  If something that's too good is on, it makes me want to watch instead of sleep, which means I'll have a shitty next day.
Perfectly acceptable evening television programming.

4: Don't intersperse crappy shows in a block of good ones. I'll put on Three's Company to fall asleep, but if I'm not out by the end and Full House comes on, I need to get the remote and find something else to watch, waking up and starting the whole sleep process over.
As if we needed more reasons to hate this show.

3: Sleep timers should somehow figure our when I've been asleep for 10 minutes then shut off the tv. It's bad when canned laughter from Benson wakes you up at 4 a.m.  It's worse when you are on the verge of sleep but wake up because the sleep timer shuts everything off too early.  Get on this, engineers.

2: Don't Test the emergency broadcast system at night. I can't believe I have to point this out, but it only pisses people off when they wake up from the super-loud *buzz, buzz, buzz* of the emergency broadcast system when it isn't an emergency.

Too soon?  Nah...
1: Commercials and sound effects need to regulate their volume. I should have a switch that muffles sounds on the tv. I'm about to crash, but the show I have on has a sudden gun fight, and its so loud I jump. But if I turn the volume lower, it becomes impossible to hear regular conversation.  And to the commercial pitch men: yelling at me and waking me up makes me boycott whatever crap you're selling.

I'm in bed as a write, and now it's time to find a good (but not great) show, roll over, and dream.  Good night!  (And please leave a comment below, and like us on Facebook.)


  1. Testing the emergency broadcast system over night is an abuse of the system. If ever a real emergency occurred in the middle of the night, I'd assume it was a test and simply turn my television off and most likely die, but not before several minutes of tossing and turning as I tried to fall back asleep after being rudely awakened.

  2. Heh heh... Benson.

  3. This was before your Star Trek comment, btw...

  4. Yeah, it's ridiculous.  The first time it happened I jumped out of bed thinking there was an emergency.  Now it just makes me really angry...  Complete abuse...

  5. I know, which makes it even funnier. Or weirder. Probably both.