Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Top 5 Wrong Ways to Eat a Reese's

TV tells us there's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.  But I don't believe everything I see, so I set out to determine if there is a wrong way.  Turns out, yep.  For example:

5: For your diet.  If you are eating a Reese's for your diet, you're doing it wrong.  210 calories and 13 grams of fat.

4: With a fork and knife.  You pretentious prick--put the knife down and get your hands dirty!

3: While committing crime.  Anything you are doing while criming is being done the wrong way.  (Yup, just made up a word.)

2: If you're a vampire.  What the hell is Reese's putting in their cups these days?  This commercial is bullshit--even lame vamps like Edward wouldn't go for peanut butter.

1: While "mastering your domain."  Some things just don't mix.

So what do you think?  Let us know other "wrong ways" you can think of in the comments below, and don't forget to like us using the link above or going here.


  1. I'm pretty sure "crimeing" has an "e" in it.  

    Sheesh, and you call yourself a writer.  

  2. Knife and fork is the Costanza way.  (well, the Mr. Pitt way--he started it first--George just brought it to the Yankees)

  3. Well, I guess one wrong way would be with the brown wrapper on. It sucks with just a little piece, imagine a whole one.

  4. Out of intellectual curiosity, I looked it up after reading this to see if it is some arcane word that hasn't been dusted off in centuries, and ... nope.  Checked OED, Webster's, and Black's (law dictionary).  Although, Google returns about 7,500 hits with the "e" and 57,300 without, neither is anything more than gibberish.  (Or maybe an idiom?  I could never figure that out.  Real writer--help!)

  5. Agreed, that would be a wrong way to eat a Reese's.

  6. Matthew James FerrantinoDecember 2, 2013 at 10:49 PM

    Idioms are what Amelia Bedelia does wrong. :) Any metaphorical phrase that isn't directly a metaphor or simile is, I *think*, an idiom. The point is that taking it literally would be doing it 'wrong', but taking it literarily would be doing it right. Crimeing is something that one does completely literally, not literarily, so it would *not* be an idiom. Any breaking of any Federal, local, state, or organizational laws, by laws, procedural rules, or formal customs would be a crime. Breaking informal customs is merely rude, not anti-social enough to be considered a crime. A formal custom can usually be informally distinguished as existing, and distinguished from informal custom, if you ask yourself "is this breach of conduct worth challenging someone to a duel over?" The nice thing about duels is that even though Big Governments can ban them and formally look down in disapproval on them, all one has to do is get mutual consent for participation, and have everyone agree to not press charges. :) It's basically Superceding New Law with Old Law.