Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Top 5 Soaps

I'll bet you were thinking soap operas...  Nope, we are talking about good old fashioned bars of soap.  And nothing clever like "the one Tyler Durden made from peoples' fat"--nope. Just plain soaps you buy in the grocery store.  Here goes nothing:

5: Lava - Lava is a heavy duty cleaner soap.  It can be used in the shower, but it's a little rough.  It makes the list solely because there aren't enough soaps that don't add moisturizers and other ingredients that leave you feeling slippery and unclean (looking at you, Dove).

4: Lever 2000 - For all your 2,000 parts!  Huh?  Arbitrary numbers in ad campaigns piss me off!  But still, this is a perfectly serviceable soap.  It's got nothing that makes it really stand out, but there's nothing offensive about it either.  Basically, there are three really good soaps, leaving the 4 and 5 holes filled with adequate soaps.  Who knew!

3: Dial - Totally underrated, but the best smelling soap on the list.  It's got a funky orangish color too, which seems pretty odd since most soaps go with blue or white.  Otherwise, it's a plain bar of soap--nothing fancy.

2: Ivory - Ivory is inexpensive, so there's that.  It also floats (most soaps sink), and while I'm not sure why, I like it.  Finally, it's 99.44 percent pure.  It never says pure what, and it's fair to wonder what the other 0.56% is, and it's also fair to wonder how pure/impure other soaps are in comparison, but on marketing and floating alone, Ivory earns high honors.

1: Irish Spring - I remember a commercial where an Irishman in the countryside whips out a blade and casually cuts through his soap to show you that the swirls go all the way through (I guess).  Pretty cool commercial, but this soap has the top spot without it--it's a clean soap (no weird moisturizers to make you feel oily) and it's by far the coolest looking soap.  It also has a really nice smell that does refresh your senses in the morning.  It doesn't come with a knife, so you'll have to find one on your own if you want to cut it.

Yeah, you just spent 1 1/2 minutes reading about soap.  Sorry.  But if you can forgive us, check out the Facebook page and give us a "like"!  As always, we'll take your comments below.


  1. According to television commercials, Dove is pretty amazing, but maybe lady-only soap? Disappointed "All My Children" didn't make the cut. 

  2. I was waiting for the soap opera comments!  lol...

    Yeah, I've had to use Dove before--it leaves you feeling slimy--bizarre.

  3. I think we should all write our government representatives and demand to know why there isn't mandatory labeling of purity percentage on all body cleansers. It's just common sense.

  4. Obviously, right? And if you made a soap that was 99.86% pure, wouldn't you want to tout that?

  5. Of course! They'd call it "The Ivory Killer."