Thursday, August 16, 2012

Top 5 Worst John Sterling Home Run Calls

Anyone who has listened to a Yankee game on the radio knows announcer John Sterling.  In recent years he's become a caricature of himself--to paraphrase Star Wars, he's more schtick than man now.  Worse than anything else he does are the homerun calls.  He assigns a special catch phrase to each Yankee, each worse than the last.  Here are the top 5 worst of all time:

5: Melky Cabrera - "The Melkman delivers."  John, there are no milkmen anymore.  You might as well tell us to strike up the gramophone or Victrola.  Unfortunately, I have no video or audio for this one--if anyone can find it, add it in the comments please.  All this for a guy who just got a 50 game suspension for violating the league's banned substance policy.

4: Russell Martin - "Russell shows muscle.  Monsieur Martin est la."  Because Martin speaks French.  I don't know or care what this means.  Dumb.  Ugh.

3: Curtis Granderson - "Oh Curtis, you're something sort of grandish! Oh, the grandy-man can...  The grandy-man can..."  Yeah, he sings the last part.  Nothing connects with today's kids than lines from 1940's musicals and 40 year old songs.  

2: Lance Berkman - "Sir Lancelot rides to the rescue!  C'est lui!  C'est lui!"  It just sounds ridiculous.

1: Mark Texeira - "He sends a Tex-message to the right field bleachers.  you're on the Mark, Texeira."  A "Tex-message"?  What does that even mean?  Even if the guy's name was Text, why the hell would you call it a Text message?  Who has ever referred to a homerun as a text message?  A blast, bomb, longball, shot, dinger, dong, homer, goner, laser, missle, four-bagger, jack, and round-tripper, sure.  Never a text message.  This is just stupid.  And don't get me started on the second part with the name pun.

I used to love listening to Sterling and Kay--when I was in my early teens, I'd watch games with the volume off so I could listen to the radio's audio.  Now, between Sterling's terrible comments and Suzyn Waldman's screeching, I'd rather sit in silence than listen to the game.  How about you?  What do you think of Sterling's calls?  Do you have a favorite or least favorite?  Share with us below.  And don't forget to follow us on Facebook by pressing that big 'ol LIKE button.


  1. Yankees anything is painful...not just their announcers. GO RED SOX!

  2. "Nick M. from Facebook posted the following comment there. I thought it was worth sharing here too:

    But I hate sterling and his homer in calls. Here's a couple more

    "The Giambino"
    "Robbie cano, Don'cha know"
    And the worst. "Shane Spencer, The home run dispenser"

  3. Dave, I hate to break it to you but Sterling was never good. He's always been a complete moron now he's just worse

  4. Yeah, he's never been good, but when it was true reaction instead of shtick, and when he had Kay to keep him in check, it was really nice to listen to. he has a good radio voice.

  5. They'd all be annoying to me, since I'm a Met fan and am not very fond of the Yankees hitting homers at all. Even in silence.

  6. TeX is a word processing system.

  7. You still wouldn't send a "Tex message" would you? And even if you would, there's no way Sterling knows that... :)

  8. i think nunez' is the absolute worst NUNIE TO THE MOONIE