Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Top 5 Ridiculous Dating Sites

Online dating is huge, with as many as 112% of people* meeting their partners through an online service.  Obviously there is a ton of money to be made by setting up one of these websites, but for every Match or eHarmony, there are a ton of unsuccessful niche competitors.  Here's our take on the goofiest of these (each with its tagline in parentheses):

5: gk2gk.com - "Finally, a dating site for geeks!"  Geek to geek is almost certainly populated almost entirely by guys looking for the handful of girls.  But the girls will be dressed like Boba Fett (or Samus Aran), so the guys will search in vain.

4: BlackPeopleMeet.com - "This is how black people meet!"  Oh, this is how black people meet.  Okay, got it.  Didn't realize black people had a hard time meeting other black people until now.  Nothing like promoting endogamy to support that healthy "melting pot" idea...  [Turns head slowly toward JDate.]

3: Pounced.org - "Have you been pounced yet?"  It's a place where you, being a "furry," can meet other furries.  So if you're into zoophilia or fursuitism, and want to yiff, check it out.  (Yeah, those are all things.  Nope, I'm not a furry.  I just have Google.)

2: 7orBetter.com - "Where size does matter."  Before I saw the tagline, I thought this was a site where people on the high end of the looks-grading-scale meet (as in, "she's at least a 7").  In case you're still not sure what the site is pimping, the first line of the description is: "Wouldn't it be nice to know up front if the man you are dating is well endowed?"

1: STDMatch.net - "Connect with singles who share your STD."  Wow.  I guess herpes-fetish.com was taken and chlamydia is too hard to spell.  Seriously, I guess this makes some sort of sense.

Narrowly missing the list was ChristianMingle.com with it's preposterously presumptuous tagline, "Find God's match for you at ChristianMingle.com today!"  Why not leave a comment below--maybe the future love of your life will respond (we want to be invited to the wedding)...  And don't forget to like us on Facebook.

*This stat is complete bullshit.  I just made it up.  In fact, not only is it wrong, it isn't even possible.

7 comments:

  1. wow...these actually make ashleymadison look normal. go figure.

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  2. I think there is a site for everyone and picking the right one is so important. Otherwise you are left disappointed. Met my boyfriend online and
    couldn't be happier. Picking the right site is the key! A good review
    site is the place to start. I used thetopdatingsitesonline.com, they
    use member reviews to rate dating sites and then they rank the best
    dating sites in order. I got a free trial as well by clicking through
    their links. Can't ask for more than that!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This has to be your funniest post yet! Good job! :)

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  4. 7orBetter? Women can be SO superficial.

    By the way, does anyone know if there's a site where I can find gainfully employed women who wear size 2 - 4 and has well rounded bosoms? (Must be pretty).

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  5. I know several, but they're all sixes. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete