Friday, September 7, 2012

Top 5 Things I Learned from the DNC

Last week we took the a hard-hitting look at made fun of the Republican National Convention.  This week it was the Democrats' turn to become Kooz Top 5 cannon fodder.  So, what did we learn from the DNC?

5: The current crop of Democrats are so much more eloquent than the Republicans.

4: President Clinton doesn't understand that correlation does not equal causation, or he thinks you don't.  As though, for example, Bush's failure to create as many jobs as Clinton had nothing to do with 9/11 and Clinton's success had nothing to do with the rise of the Internet.  Right place, right time is a big part of it.

Sharpton circa his whole life.  "Is that pie?"
Sharpton now. "This head belongs on the body of a much larger man, wouldn't you say?"
3: Skinny Al Sharpton creeps me right the hell out.

2: John Kerry is extremely topical and Sarah Palin doesn't remember being the Vice Presidential candidate of a national political party.  John Kerry mentioned Palin's "I can see Russia from Alaska" comments as he made a Rocky IV joke.  Rocky IV.  Palin responded, "how does he even know my name?" before going into a rant about being one of the little people and defending her Russia remarks.  Maybe he remembers four years ago when you ran for VP.

1: If your speech is good enough, nobody will remember the stain on your intern's dress, not even your political enemies.

Okay, that's a cheap shot, but what else would you expect?  Tell us your thoughts on either convention in the comments below--and don't worry, we don't get riled up!  Also, share this with your friends and like our Facebook page when you get a chance.


  1. I liked this... very funny :)

  2. Sharpton definitely need to have his head shrunk a few sizes. He should consult either a therapist... Or a witch doctor.

  3. eh.....not your best either. #4.....the elected president can react appropriately and execute executive orders as he or she sees fit. that would have been nice in the case of katrina. fema needed a qualified leader to make it effective. but instead, bush's buddy got the job and in turn, southeast America got the job. no, my friend, bubba is right. wrong reactions perpetuate bad situations.

  4. Written like one truly blinded by partisan party politics. When you start being an apologist and stop being objective, you find yourself defending points like this. Clinton's speech was really good, and really cut off the Republicans at the knees, but that point was not a good one. Even the Democrat talking heads were willing to admit that.

  5. I understand Beetlejuice knows a guy...