Saturday, March 31, 2012

Top 5 Ways to Save Money Right Now

I've got a friend who runs a really good personal finance blog, and he's always writing about budgeting and saving money.  It got me thinking about things some of us could do to free-up some cash.  Here's what I came up with.

5: Pay for things in cash. Studies show you will pay less if you shell out cash.  In fact, once McDonald's started accepting credit cards, the average amount that people spent on a meal jumped from $4.50 to $7.00.   Imagine shelling out 8 twenties for those designer jeans.  You'd be wearing Old Navy in no time.

4: Quit smoking.  You started because it gave you a buzz.  You kept going because you got addicted.  But with a pack of smokes reaching $10 to $15 in Manhattan, you could be saving over $500 per year if you smoke a pack a week.  And let's face it, you smoke way more than a pack a week.

3: Cut out soda.  You don't need to drink soda.  I'm a hypocrite, because I love soda, even gross soda,  But soda is not good for you, and it's expensive--you aren't buying a 2 liter at the supermarket for $1, you're buying a 16 oz. bottle, maybe twice a day, for at least $1.25 a pop(no pun intended--really. Normal people call it soda. Take that, middle states!).  That's $12.50 if you only buy during the work week.  The savings is comparable to that from smoking (see above).

2: Stop paying for water.  If you live in a decent city, the city water is okay to drink; if you have well water, you probably treat it so its consumable.  Get a bottle and fill it up. This is the same savings as from soda...  Obviously, if you've been a soda drinker, don't start buying bottled water.  You'll be healthier, but still broke.

1: Stop playing the lottery.  I know my friends at work will jump all over me if they read this, but the lottery is a waste of money.  I made the following offer to one colleague: give me the money you spend on the lottery.  I'll hold it, and at the end of the year, I'll take 10% and give you the test.  Yes, that's a crappy deal for her, but she would have gotten a better payout from me on the $40+ she spent on this big $500 million jackpot.

Have more helpful money-saving tips?  Share them below.  And as always, of you've enjoyed this post, please consider liking us on Facebook and sharing us with your friends!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Top 5 KT5 Posts From 2011 You Didn't Read

Here at the KT5, we do new posts just about every day.  Usually, we get a great response from people either in the comments, on Facebook, or via email.  Even when we don't see many comments, the pages still get a ton of hits.  They can't all be winners, however, sometimes a good post sneaks under the radar and nobody sees it!  Here are the best posts from last year that never got any traction. Check 'em out and comment if you like them!

5. Top 5 Best Comic Book (Super Hero) Movies - I liked this one because it was a really tough choice--there are a lot of really good movies based on comic books.  You'll like it because it is a field begging for debate.

4. Top 5 Interesting Things About Lewis Carroll - I liked this one because Carroll was an interesting guy, but we only know him from Alice in Wonderland.  You'll like it because you only know him from Alice in Wonderland.

3. Top 5 Best "Corey" Movies - I liked it because I remember Corey Haim and Corey Feldman sucked pretty bad, and this list confirmed it to me.  You'll like it because you remember all the buzz about these two, and this will show you they were in exactly 2 decent movies.

2. Top 5 Best Atari 7800 Titles - I liked this one because it was a nice nostalgic trip to the early days of home video gaming.  You'll like it if you had an Atari 7800, or had a rival system, or like video games.

1. Top 5 Worst TV Euphemisms for F*** - I love this one because it's funny!  The things people have come up with to get around the inability to say "fuck" on television are varied and ridiculous.  You'll like it, unless you have delicate sensibilities--but in that case, you probably wouldn't be reading the KT5.

Hopefully you'll have a chance to check these out this time around.  If you like 'em, share 'em, and like the FB page too!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Top 5 Adam Sandler Movies

In the mid-90s, Adam Sandler was the funniest man on the planet to anyone on a college campus.  At some point, he fell off, but his sketch recordings remain some of the funniest bits around.  I can remember seeing his show in college, and sitting near the front row (I got a hook-up)--sheer awesomesauce.  Sandler is also the star in some of the funniest movies I've ever seen.  Before the Will Ferrells, Paul Rudds, and Vince Vaughns of the world were making us pee our pants, Sandler was breaking out of a stale comedy scene to make us belly laugh for the first time in a while.  Here's Sandler's best movies:

5: Grown Ups (2010) - The most recent Sandler movie we're willing to admit exists (at least until That's My Boy premiers later this year, which we have high hopes for--and don't you dare mention Jack and Jill), Grown Ups follows a group of childhood friends, now adults with families, reuniting for a weekend to re-live the glory days.  The movie falls a little flat at times, and some of the jokes are rehashes of old Sandler stand-up bits, but the star-studded comedic cast (Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider (yeah, he's funny in this one), Maya Rudolph, Steve Buscemi, Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows, and Salma Hayek) saves the movie and makes it pretty funny and enjoyable.

4: 50 First Dates (2004) - Sandler falls in love with a very charming Drew Barrymore, but discovers she has short term memory loss, and every morning she wakes up forgetting everything from the day before.  This movie has funny moments, but at heart, it's sweet and likable.  Warning--you will cry at the end.

3: Billy Madison (1995) - Sandler, the son of a rich guy, stands to inherit his father's company and keep it out of the hands of an evil Bradley Whitford.  The catch is, to inherit the company, he needs to pass grades 1 through 12.   The movie is admittedly full of juvenile humor, but it's the funniest juvenile humor you'll ever see.  Just one quote: "'Did you see that guy's balls?' 'Yeah, they were weird looking.'"

2: The Wedding Singer (1998) - Heartwarming story set in the 80s of a wedding singer searching for true love. Full of laughs, 80s spoilers, and 80s music.  Plus, it's got a love story in it and it's technically a chick-flick.  If you and your girlfriend are fighting over what to watch--this is a great compromise--you won't be upset!

1: Happy Gilmore (1996) - One of the funniest movies ever made, Sandler plays an awful-hockey-player-turned-golfer trying to win a competition against golf pro Shooter McGavin, and trying to avenge his trainer's death (which he himself caused).

He has made a lot more than 5 movies--what are your favorites?  What are your expectations for That's My Boy?  Will you admit to seeing Jack and Jill?  If so, what are your thoughts?  Share those comments and more below, and don't forget to like us and share us with your friends!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Top 5 Best Frozen Pizzas

Who doesn't love pizza!  And when you can't order out for a good slice, frozen pizza can be a good substitute--or a bad one.  There are a lot of pizzas that taste like cardboard with melted rubber cheese, but lucky for you, we've sifted through the crap and present you only the best in the frozen pizza world.


5: Red Baron Singles - These get on the list for two reasons.  First, they are microwavable.  Second, they don't taste like they come from the microwave.  That is to say, they taste better than soggy, overly chewy styrofoam on cardboard.  ...so that's a win.


4: Dr. Oetker Ristorante Pizza Mozzarella - The good doctor provides a variety of gourmet pizzas.  They all taste great, but they're on the small side.  They are also a very thin crust pizza--which means they're crispy, not chewy. But the thing to focus on here is that they taste great!

3: Ellio's Pizza - And the cheese goes, "blub, blub, blub."  Tell me you remember that commercial!  Anyway, these are good because they heat up quickly and they taste great.  The bottoms of the crusts crisp up nicely, and the cheese melts well.  They used to have a bit more cheese (or at least it seems that way), but they're still delish.

2: DiGiorno Rising Crust Pizza - Without ever trying a bite, I hated DiGiorno on principle for a long time because it compared itself to delivery pizza.  I've since had it, and though it doesn't compare favorably with good delivery, it beats out Dominos and Papa John's, so bravo DiGiorno.  It also comes on top of a cardboard disc, so it's easy to get out of the oven and slice without dirtying a cutting board.

1: Freschetta Naturally Rising Pizza - In some ways, this is better that DiGiorno--most notably, it tastes a bit better.  I think the crust is not as good as DiGiorno, but that's a matter of taste, as my wife prefers Freschetta's crust.  Freschetta just edges out DiGiorno for the top spot on the list, but you can't go wrong with either.

My advice--stock up on as many of these as you can, keep them in your freezer, and enjoy whenever you're feeling lazy.  What do you think?  Have any frozen pizzas that you prefer?  Add your own selections in the comments below, and if you liked the post, please share us with your peeps on Facebook, and "like" us too!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Top 5 Things You'll Never Hear a Ghost Hunter Say

I ripped this pic from an awesome Halloween prop
site: http://www.halloween-haunted-house.com/   
You've seen these shows all over your favorite (formerly reputable) history, science, and law channels.  A bunch of people go to a "haunted" location with a ton of equipment and ultimately scare the hell out of each other.  They always end up with photos of ghost orbs, thermal video images of ghosts, electronic voice phenomena (EVP) recordings of spirits, EMF Meter readings showing ghost activity, and testimony that they "know what they saw."  Here's what you'll never hear them say:

5: Orbs - "Those "orbs" were probably just dust in the air that was too close to the lens to be in focus, but just far enough to pick up the flash.  We are in a basement after all, and dust is not exactly uncommon."

4: Thermal Video Images - "Those non-moving blobs of heat on the couch where we were just sitting, but which do not appear anywhere that we weren't touching the fabric, which were picked up by the thermal video are probably images of the heat we left behind.  Maybe we shouldn't take thermal videos of things we were just sitting on, leaning against, etc.

3: EVP - "It's four hours of static.  You recorded four hours of static."

2: EMF Meter - "Hey!  The EMF Meter is picking up all the electro-magnetic activity present in this house--as it is in every house--exactly as it's supposed to!  Now let's go look for ghosts!"

1: Eyewitness Testimony - "I have an idea of what I think I saw, but it's anecdotal evidence, so I don't expect you to accept it as proof.  Moreover, I know our minds can play tricks on us, so I'm looking for better evidence myself!"

Sorry to take the fun out of it, but the quicker we admit it's bullshit, the better off we'll all be.  Comments, questions, want to tell me that I'm full of shit?  Share your thoughts below.  And remember, we're never happier than when you share us with your friends and like us on Facebook.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Top 5 Fictional Cartoon Beers

Beer is a running theme in world culture.  Brewed by ancient Egyptians and American Founding Fathers alike, beer permeates all aspects of society and culture.  Therefore, it should come as no surprise that many cartoons feature beer (and beer drinkers) prominently.  Here are the top five fictional beer brands created in cartoons:

5: LoBrau Beer (Futurama) - A favorite of Fry, LoBrau would make the list by name alone--a parody of the actual beer Lowenbrau, and a play on the words "low brow."  Futurama also features multiple other beers including Klein's Beer, Pabst Blue Robot, St. Pauli Exclusion Principle Girl, Benderbrau, Maltese Liquor, Olde Fortran Malt Liquor.  You've gotta love a show that weaves beer into its episodes so often.

4: Alamo Beer (King of the Hill) - Every episode of King of the Hill opened with Hank and the gang drinking some ice-cold Alamo's at the curb.  They like Alamo so much, one episode is centered around Hank's home bar, where he has Alamo on tap, and engraved mugs for all his buddies.

3: Black Hole Brew (Home Movies) - If you haven't seen this show, you need to.  Coach Jon McGuirk (voiced by H. Jon Benjamin) is a brilliant character--and he happens to enjoy the old Black Hole Brew, sometimes a little too much.  He also lives on the corner of Lonely Ave. and Brew St.  Okay, I can see it isn't coming across in this blurb, but trust me--he and the show are hilarious!

2: Pawtucket Patriot Ale (Family Guy) - After a bender, Peter Griffin once said, "I'm not drunk; I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinkin."  But the real reason Pawtucket Patriot Ale is number 2 on the list is for the Willy Wonka-esque brewery where Pawtucket Patriot Ale is born.  (The song is here, but the video has been pulled.  It's worth listening to--it's pretty funny.)

1: Duff (The Simpsons) - Duff beer has an official spokesman, Duffman, and even a theme park, Duff Gardens.  At Duff Gardens, in addition to the various attraction (the Beeramid; the Beerquarium, etc.), you can meet additional Duff spokesmen--the Seven Duffs (Sleazy, Queasy, Edgy, Surly, Tipsy, Dizzy, and Remorseful).

We love to hear from you, so if you think we missed one, or if the order is out of whack, let us know in the comments below.  And if you dig this, please like it on Facebook and share it with your friends!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Sunday musings... Sons of Anarchy.

So I started watching Sons if Anarchy, and I'm digging it.  Anyone else watch this show?  Does it drop off like Sopranos, or does it stay good?

Anyway, shoot me any ideas for top 5 lists, and please keep sharing these posts and tell your friends to like our Facebook page!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Top 5 Most Distinctive Male Voices

"It may look creepy, but when I say 'free mustache rides,' the girls never turn me down."
Did you ever hear a commercial on the radio and have that unsettling feeling that Darth Vader is trying to sell you a mattress or the voice-over guy from the Thriller video is pitching life insurance?  A lot of actors take these side jobs to stem the tide of bills in between acting gigs, but some have voices so distinct that they can't hide anonymously behind the radio.  Here are the most distinctive male voices in Hollywood (or a cemetery nearby).

5: Bobcat Goldthwait - You know him from most of the Police Academy movies.  He also sold cheese.

4: Jimmy Stewart - You know him from It's a Wonderful Life.  He also sold Firestone tires.

3: Vincent Price - You know him as the voice from Michael Jackson's Thriller.  He also sold Polaroid VHS tapes, Tilex, Time-Life books, and pitched Citibank credit cards.

2: Patrick Stewart - You know him as Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation.  He also sold Brain Age 2 video games and pitched rental cars from National.

1: James Earl Jones - You know him as Darth Vader's voice in Star Wars.  He also pitched Bell Atlantic and other phone companies.

So Bobcat is pretty funny (check out his old stand-up.  Some doesn't hold up, but it's pretty solid overall.)  As for the top four, I could listen to these guys all day long.  I've watched bad movies simply because they contained the voice of one of these actors.  Their voices are so distinct yet so perfect in different ways.

Anyway, perhaps Morgan Freeman should be on this list.  There are others I'm sure I left out as well, but someone always gets cut when you stop at 5.  Let us know who you think should be in the top 5 and why in the comments below.  And as always, if you enjoyed the post, consider liking us on Facebook or sharing us with your friends!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Top 5 Wizards from TV and Movies

Wizards are all the rage, so in honor of...  Wait, what?  They're not?  But I thought Harry Potter... When?  2007!  Wow, so what is it now, Vampires or something?  Last year?  Okay, what about this year?  What the hell is a Katniss?  No, you know what?  Screw it--top 5 tv/movie wizards.  Done and done.  

5: Oz (The Wizard of Oz) - He may not have been magic, but he was called the Wizard, so he's eligible.  He makes the list for two reasons--cool title (The Great and Powerful Oz) and cool name (Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Normal Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs).  Yup, betcha didn't know that.  He's also the man hiding behind the curtain.

4: Yen Sid - (Fantasia) - Oooh, it's "Disney" spelled backwards...  He is no "pull a rabbit out of a hat" magician; Yen Sid conjures creatures of light from a skull and is able to make tremendous tides recede with a waive of his hand.  He makes this list because he wears a traditional pointy magic hat with starts and the moon on it.  You have to be pretty cool to pull that off.

3: Gandalf (The Lord of the Rings trilogy) - Gandalf died.  Then he rose from the dead more powerful than ever.  You can be sure that 2,000 years from now, his followers will be knocking on doors asking if you've accepted Gandalf as your personal Lord and Ring bearer.

2: Dr. Orpheus (The Venture Brothers) - This hilarious necromancer is from The Venture Bros. is a secondary character, but gets some of the best lines in the show and steals most scenes he's in.  Just watch the clip.

1: Dumbledore (the Harry Potter series) - Dumbledore is cool because he always knew what was up.  He was  the only character in the Potterverse who you never questioned.  If he did something crazy, you knew it would work out just right.  And sure, he had a blind spot for Harry and his whiny teenage angst, but aside from that, Dumbledore had no faults.  Plus, he was not afraid to say "Voldemort," which is pretty bitchin.'

So really, Orpheus should be 1, but since none of you watch The Venture Bros., I couldn't justify it.  But what do you think--who was left off the list?  Anyone you care to add?  Tim Curry as the Grand Wizard in The Worst Witch, perhaps?  Let me know in the comments below, and don't forget to like us if you like us!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Top 5 Older Technologies We Take for Granted

We've looked at recent technological advances we take for granted, but how about some older ones we can't live without, yet never think about?  Here are the top 5 older technologies we take for granted:

5: The Elevator (as early as 1793, but we'll give it to Elisha Otis in 1852 for giving us, more or less, the modern elevator) - Without these, we'd have no true skyscrapers, no beautiful skylines, and no elderly people employed above the first floor!

4: The Phonograph (1877, Thomas Alva Edison) - This device was used to record sounds and play them back--it led to the iPod.  Well there were a few intermediate steps along the way, but eventually - iPods.  Narrowly missing here was the invention of the radio, but since the phonograph was invented earlier (by a few years), that's the winner.

3: The Telephone (patented in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell) - There was a time when it took months to contact somebody who lived across the country.  The writing was better back then, since you packed everything you could into any letter you wrote, but it was crazy inconvenient.  So Bell patents the "apparatus for transmitting vocal or other sounds telegraphically," and yada, yada, yada, Nixon calls the moon in 1969.

2: The Engine (too many types to choose from, but let's go with the ancestor of today's car engines in 1889, Gottlieb Daimler) - Whether internal combustion or steam varieties, engines get us from A to B without the need for wind, river flow, or horses.

1: The Light Bulb (possibly earlier, but for practical purposes 1879, Thomas Alva Edison) - The incandescent light turns day into night with considerably less risk of fire than, well fire.

All of these technologies were based on earlier technologies developed for decades, so crediting the inventor and noting the year is a bit of a lost cause (as you can see), but it gives you a sense of how old these things are. Next time you drive to work making deals on your Bluetooth and get into a well-lit elevator playing soft Muzak, realize just how much we stand on the shoulders of giants.  Can you think of inventions I missed?  If so, share your thoughts in the comments below.  And please like us on Facebook!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Top 5 Proofs that Commas are Important

Grammar nerds rejoice!  Today we're going to explore usage of our favorite punctuation mark, the comma.  Specifically, we'll learn when and why are commas important.  Here's your lesson:

5: Commas are important when you're hungry:

4: Commas are important to avoid people thinking you're an incestuous pervert:

3: Commas are important when referring to your boyfriend by name in writing (depending on the name): 

2: The "Oxford comma" (before the "and" before the last word of a list) is important when discussing dictators and hookers in the same sentence:

1: Commas are important when trying to impress your (probably homophobic) homeboys on Facebook:


 Ah, the comma...  So important, yet so misused.  Add your favorite misuses of the comma below!  And "like" us.  And share us with your friends.  And encourage your friends to "like" us.  And... whatever, just enjoy the blog.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Top 5 Worst Post-Seinfeld Careers for the Seinfeld Cast

Seinfeld ended in 1998, and the cast of characters have since done little of note.  After leaving their big mark on the small screen, they started making terrible, terrible television.  Here are the worst of the short-lived television series that the cast found themselves involved in in their post-Seinfeld world:

Is this a sitcom, or an E! True Hollywood Story?
5: Watching Ellie (2002-2003, Julia Louis-Dreyfus) - Louis-Dreyfus plays Ellie Riggs, a cabaret singer who gets involved in all sorts of wacky hijinx.  The show premiered with a clock counting down 22 minutes in Ellie's life, as she scrambled to get to whatever gig she had lined up.  This premise was scrapped after 10 episodes, and the show came back a year later with canned laughter and a formulaic sitcom style.  It was cancelled after 6 episodes.  We should note, Louis-Dreyfus actually wasn't bad; it was the premise's fault.

Run Jason!  Or cover yourself with mud--so he can't detect you...
4: Listen Up! (2004-2005, Jason Alexander) - What could be funnier than a show about Sports radio talk show host Tony Kornheiser (renamed Kleinman in the show)?  Turns out, just about anything.  Despite casting Malcolm-Jamal Warner as a Predator Kleinman's co-host, the show was killed by "rising production costs."  Because successful shows with no special effects are often canned for being too expensive.

It's funny because he's a self-help guru, but he's a pompous dick!  Get it?
3: Bob Patterson (2001, Jason Alexander) - Two in a row for Alexander, who plays the title character, "America's #3 self-help guru."  This should be a funny concept; following the life of a self-absorbed, but clueless and secretly insecure motivational speaker.  Unfortunately, when even the crickets stopped chirping at the end of episode 5, the series was pulled and America was spared having to see Jason Alexander make this potentially funny character unfunny (or was it?).

Okay, we don't expect Eva Longoria to be funny, but Seinfeld and Tina Fey?
I don't understand why this show sucks soooo baaaad...
2: The Marriage Ref (2010-2011, Jerry Seinfeld) - Jerry, Jerry, Jerry...  We waited over a decade for you to bring the funny, and this is what you give us!  Unacceptable.  So technically, this show might still be running, but if it is, it's doing so on the fumes of Seinfeld's former glory.  The show features a panel of celebrities who painfully attempt to make light of certain couples' problems, and poke fun at the couples while they are interviewed so that a judge can determine which half of the couple is right.  Generally unfunny couples, decidedly unfunny guests, and a sort-of unlikeable host (Tome Papa) put this show onto the unwatchable list.  Set your TiVo to avoid it.

Producer: "Well if this poster doesn't make them want to watch, nothing will!"
He was right.
1: The Michael Richards Show (2000, Michael Richards) - A show with Michael Richards and Tim Meadows wasn't funny?  Surely, you jest!  Nope...  I guess the idea of Kramer as a private detective didn't grab a hold of America's collective imagination.  I know, I'm shocked too.  To be serious for a second--this show was so formulaic, it would make 80s sitcoms blush, and then throw-up.  And what's with the title?

In Watching Ellie, Louis-Dreyfus showed us some potential to carry a show, and she finally got the chance in the seriously decent The New Adventures of Old Christine (2006-2010), thus breaking the Seinfeld curse.  Except for Seinfeld himself, whose show came after this one, so maybe the curse is still in effect.  Who knows.  Anyway, let us know your opinions in the comments below--we're always happy to hear from you!  And please like us on Facebook if you haven't already! 

Monday, March 19, 2012

Top 5 Ways Nighttime TV Could Improve

I watch tv before bed, and I have for as long as I can remember.  However, it isn't without its problems.  Here are the top 5 fixes to make bedtime tv a better experience.

5: Don't play really good shows.  If something that's too good is on, it makes me want to watch instead of sleep, which means I'll have a shitty next day.
Perfectly acceptable evening television programming.

4: Don't intersperse crappy shows in a block of good ones. I'll put on Three's Company to fall asleep, but if I'm not out by the end and Full House comes on, I need to get the remote and find something else to watch, waking up and starting the whole sleep process over.
As if we needed more reasons to hate this show.

3: Sleep timers should somehow figure our when I've been asleep for 10 minutes then shut off the tv. It's bad when canned laughter from Benson wakes you up at 4 a.m.  It's worse when you are on the verge of sleep but wake up because the sleep timer shuts everything off too early.  Get on this, engineers.
Benson!

2: Don't Test the emergency broadcast system at night. I can't believe I have to point this out, but it only pisses people off when they wake up from the super-loud *buzz, buzz, buzz* of the emergency broadcast system when it isn't an emergency.

Too soon?  Nah...
1: Commercials and sound effects need to regulate their volume. I should have a switch that muffles sounds on the tv. I'm about to crash, but the show I have on has a sudden gun fight, and its so loud I jump. But if I turn the volume lower, it becomes impossible to hear regular conversation.  And to the commercial pitch men: yelling at me and waking me up makes me boycott whatever crap you're selling.

I'm in bed as a write, and now it's time to find a good (but not great) show, roll over, and dream.  Good night!  (And please leave a comment below, and like us on Facebook.)

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Top 5 Dumb Things Politicians Have Said Recently

Man, politicians say some dumb stuff.  I guess they talk a lot, but you still can't help but wish that they thought things through a little more.  Here are the top 5 things that politicians have said recently that are just dumb...

5: Rick Santorum (Presidential Candidate) - "I've never even supported the hoax of global warming."  To be fair to Rick, he's anti-science pretty much across the board, but this statement encapsulates just how scientifically illiterate he is.

4: George Cleveland (North Carolina State Representative) - "We have no one in the state of North Carolina living in extreme poverty."  Except, I guess, all the people living in extreme poverty.

"I'm not a racist--take that back!"
3: Chris Christie (New Jersey Governor) - "People would have been happy to have a referendum on civil rights..."  I really like Gov. Christie in some ways, but this statement was dumb.  He wants NJ to have a referendum on gay marriage (because he thinks the people will vote it down) rather than have it decided in other forums.  He compared it to civil rights, but since everyone knows he's against gay marriage, it made him sound racist too.

"I took this picture to be the new meme."
2: Mitt Romney (Presidential Candidate) - "I'm not concerned about the very poor."  This isn't what he meant--what he meant was there is already a social safety net for the very poor, it's the people right above the very poor who need support.  But saying you aren't concerned with the very poor is not the wisest political strategy.

1: Joseph Maturo (East Haven, Connecticut Mayor) - "I might have tacos."  The cops in his town were accused of targeting Latinos.  When asked what he plans to do for the Latino community, he responded that he might have tacos when he goes home.  What followed that was a several minute stumbling backtrack explanation of how tacos are good and he loves Latinos (when clearly, he is just a  blubbering fool).

And here's a dumb thing that a politician did.  Seriously, if you only check one of these out, watch the Maturo video--it's amazing.  So I just noticed all of these are Republicans.  I think Republicans are on t.v. more right now because it's Presidential primary season, so it's easier to find their crazy statements.  I have no doubt that we'll have many Democrat nonsense in years to come...  Remember, we're non-partisan, we're just here to bring you the stupid...

We love hearing from you, so don't forget to comment, share, or like us!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Top 5 Quotes From Dinner With My Dad and Brother

I recently had a nice dinner with my dad and brother at Morton's.  The steaks were amazing and the place is nice and upscale.  The conversation was not up to par.  Here's the top five quotes form the evening.

5: The waitress mistakenly brought my brother the baked potato I ordered (for myself) to my brother.
Waitress: "Do you want sour cream or bacon?"
Brother: "Um..."
Me: "Just sour cream."
Brother: "Hmm...  Uh..."
Me: "Seriously, no bacon."
Brother: "Sour cream, and, uh..."
Eventually he sent her away without bacon and gave it to me, so all was well, but wtf?

4: Me: "There are a bunch of really good steakhouses in the City; Peter Luger's, Gallagher's, Del Frisco's..."
Brother: "Is there an Outback?"

Everyone's favorite vegetable.
3: Brother: "I love brussels sprouts."
Me: "Yeah, they're good."
Brother (suddenly angry): "What do you know about brussels sprouts!?!?"

2: "When Ralph Macchio gets into fights, do you think he tries to crane kick people?  Like, that's all he's got?"
Sweep the leg.
1: Brother: "What nationality do you think our waitress is?"
Me: "You mean the freckled ginger with the thick Irish accent?  Irish."
Brother: "So she's not Jamaican?"

Next time, it's steakburgers at Burger King!  So how about you--have you had any good dinner conversations lately?  Share your stories below, and don't forget to like us on Facebook!