Friday, August 31, 2012

Top 5 Most Influential Rap Albums

Rapping's roots go back more than half a century, and hip-hop has existed since the 70's, but the genre didn't really take off commercially until the 80's.  Since then, we've seen some great rappers and heard some great hip-hop songs.  Most have the albums on this list to thank for opening the door.

5: Straight Outta Compton (N.W.A., 1988) - The album featured Dr. Dre as producer, Ice Cube and Eazy-E (among others) rapping, and included multiple songs written by the D.O.C., which amounts to an all-star lineup. Combine this with envelope pushing and controversial tracks such as "F*ck tha Police," and you understand why N.W.A. was given the moniker "World's most Dangerous Group."  They were pioneers of gangsta rap and everything it has become.  The album was made better by the group's subsequent break-up and feuding.

4: Sugarhill Gang (The Sugarhill Gang, 1980) - This is the album that contained the 1979 single Rappers Delight, the first hip-hop song to attain commercial success (reaching top 40 status).  This simply paved the way.

3: The Message (Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, 1982) - Contained one of the most influential hip-hop songs ever--The Message--which provided biting social commentary and cleared a path for socially minded rappers Public Enemy, N.W.A., and Nas.  The song turned an eye to the unglamorous aspects of life in the inner city.  Before this, rap was about boasting and bragging.

2: It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (Public Enemy, 1988) - Public Enemy's second album--and Chuck D's finest--was filled with biting social commentary and high-tempo songs that underlined the urgency of the black nationalist, anti-white supremacist lyrics.  Rolling Stone ranked this album at 48 in its top 500 albums list, the highest ranking for any rap album.

1: The Chronic (Dr. Dre, 1992) - Dr. Dre's solo debut that also premiered the debut of Snoop Doggy Dogg was most important for its blending of funk and gangsta rap, creating the G-Funk sub-genre.  Its influence was (and remains) so strong that you can often tell whether a hip-hop song was recorded before or after The Chronic just by the sound.

This one is open for a lot of debate, so let's hear it.  Drop a comment below to share your take on the most influential rap/hip-hop albums, and check us out on Facebook, where you can like our page to get daily updates and funnies sent right to your friend stream!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

A Very Special Kooz Top 5

Today marks one year from our first post!  (You can read it here--it's about cartoon cats.)

We owe a big THANK YOU to you readers who've supported us through the year--your comments and feedback keep us going!

A handful of you have been here since day one.  For those who haven't, here's a recap of some of the best top 5 lists we've brought you.  We'd love to hear from you, so please drop us a line in the comments below, and if you like what you read, why not share us on Facebook and encourage some of your friends to like our page--we appreciate the support!

We love television:
And music:
And we love food.  Love it!:
Sometimes we cover the daily things that make us all crazy:
Finally, there's a lot of random things we look at too:
I (Kooz) owe a thank you to all the guest bloggers who have contributed over the past year (clicking their name will take you to their posts): SoozJohnMikeChristieEileeneJessKevin, and Nick.  You've brought a lot to the site, both through your witty writing and your follow-up comments (and for some of you, your work on the technical aspects of the site).  Thank you!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Top 5 Things I Learned from the RNC

I know the convention is not over and we need to hear Romney speak, but here's what I've learned from the Republican National Convention so far.

5: Mitt Romney won't use his history of giving as a political tool, but his wife will.

4: Crazy people get fired up for statements in speeches. There's nothing better than hearing a general political point and hearing someone in the audience scream "yeeeaaaaahhh!"  [Can't find a clip but if you listened to any of the speeches, you know what I mean.]

3: Republican attendees love hats, and at least one thought it might be Mardi Gras.

2: Rachel Maddow said the republicans made the case for their bench. Chris Christie should be the Republican nominee. And Mitt knows it. For the record, his best quote was: "Real leaders don't follow polls. Real leaders change polls."

1: Chris Matthews should not be allowed to dress himself.

Just my thoughts.  Share yours below, and don't forget to check us out on Facebook!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Top 5 Worst Senators of All-Time

Almost 2,000 people have served in the U.S. Senate since 1789.  Many were incompetent, ineffective, checked-out, or just bad.  Then there were some who were bad people.  Then there were these assholes.

"Tell them you want slaves.  If they say no, f-ck 'em and make your own country..."
"No, of course you can do it, what are they gonna do, fight?"
5: John Calhoun (D-South Carolina, 1832-1843, 1845-1850) - Calhoun was a champion of slavery, convincing millions that the institution was a positive, encouraged by God and supported by the Bible (which is, at least, half right).  He is also credited with leading the South to secede from the Union, the prelude to the American Civil War.  Calhoun has an interesting legacy--he served two terms as Vice President, and was selected by a 1957 Senate Committee as one of the five greatest Senators of all time.  We rank him differently.

This guy never enjoyed a second of his entire life.
4: Benjamin Tillman (D-South Carolina, 1895-1918) - "Pitchfork" promoted racism and segregation, and opposed Teddy Roosevelt for inviting Booker T. Washington to the White House.

"Get out of line and I'll smack you with my giant hand, Commie!"
3: Joseph McCarthy (R-Wisconsin, 1947-1957) - This power hungry mad-man freely labeled political and social opponents as Communists, and led the country on multiple witch hunts over a course of years, wasting time and money of the American people, and scaring much of the country out of speaking their mind for fear of being socially outcast upon receiving the "Communist" label.

Constipation is a bitch.
2: Theodore Bilbo (D-Mississippi, 1935-1947) - Open and avowed racist who freely dropped N-bombs to anyone within earshot, Bilbo also hated Jews, Italians, and other foreigners.  He fought to oppose anti-lynching laws, and worked hard to keep blacks from voting.  Bilbo was also a Nazi sympathizer who openly praised Hitler.  He was not, however, a Hobbit.

Could he look more smug?
1: Robert Byrd (D-West Virginia, 1959-2010) - A recruiter for the Ku Klux Klan as a young man, he eventually rose to the positions of Kleagle and Exalted Cyclops, whatever the hell that means.  He left the KKK in the early 40s to distance himself politically, but as the old adage goes, "you can take the boy out of the hate group, but you can't take the hate group out of the boy."  (Okay, I'm being told that isn't an old adage--my bad.)  He wrote in 1946 that "the Klan is needed today as never before, and I am anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia."  Late in his career he lamented that joining the Klan was his greatest mistake.  He then went on tv and used the phrase "white n------" several times.  You stay klassy, asshole.

So Byrd gets the nod because, although many of these guys were racists, I suspect people will fall back on the "product of their times" argument.  Byrd was a product of our times--he was a Senator as recently as two years ago.  Makes you wonder how much thought people put into voting.

Can you think of any worse Senators?  I'll be there are some strong opinions out there.  Let us know who you hate by sharing in the comments below, and don't forget to check out and like our Facebook page!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Top 5 Things I've Made Out Of Cardboard


Sooz here to admit that I have a problem.  A cardboard problem.   (I've tried more cowbell, but it didn't help.)  The amount of boxes piled up around my house and then crammed into the garbage is getting out of hand, so I decided it would be fun to repurpose some in my spare time.  Here are my favorites...so far.  Prepare to be dazzled!

5: Cottage - This was my first big project, made from a car seat box.  What you can't see is the skylight I put in, where you can swap out a starry night sky for a cloudy daytime one. There are also flowers on the side that my son grew.  I had him pretend to plant some seeds and every day he pretended to water them, I tried to remember to draw the stem a little little bigger until they were in full bloom.  This took a while since I definitely forgot to make them grow every night.

4: Store - I started seeing the possibility in every bit of cardboard I saw around the house, so this store is constructed with empty wrapping paper rolls and shoe boxes.   I also used more cardboard pieces to make items to sell in the store as well as money to pay for those items.  I even made a garbage can!

3: Train - Diaper boxes, diaper boxes, and more diaper boxes!  How to get rid of them?  Make a train.  If I had the space, there would be many, many, more cars on the train.  

2: Knight - My husband told our son he would buy him a knight, but my son said he thought Mommy would make him one.   How am I supposed to say no?  So I stayed up late making this guy.  Too bad I didn't measure my son first, because he isn't tall enough to actually BE the knight (yet).

1: Cell Phone - Probably the most realistic thing I have made so far.   It almost works better than my actual phone.   I'm looking in your direction, Verizon.

Ever made anything fun with a leftover box?  Let us know below!  We'd love to hear your ideas, and we'd love to have you like us on Facebook.

I'm off to order some more things online so I can fuel my habit as now I am actually running out of boxes.  It's a terrible catch 22.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Top 5 Best Star Trek: Deep Space 9 Characters

I love Star Trek, but didn't watch this show since it first aired, and I wasn't a fan back then.  Upon giving it a second chance and watching every episode via Netflix (all 176 of them), I was pleasantly surprised to find it was actually pretty good (as opposed to Star Trek: Voyager, which stunk)!  The first season dragged and the last season seemed to wrap things up rushed in an odd finish, but there were some decent actors on the show who made it fun to watch.  Here are my top 5 characters from DS9:

5: Jadzia Dax - Jadzia Dax is a joined Trill--Jadzia is the woman, Dax is the symbiont slug residing in her abdomen.  Dax has lived a long time and has "joined" with many other hosts previous to Jadzia.  This results in Jadzia Dax retaining the memories (and occasionally, abilities) of the previous hosts.  The character became one of the more fun, carefree characters.  She was given important work and was on the inside, but many scenes involved her gambling and showed her unique ability to get along seamlessly with virtually any race of alien species.  Plus she was hot.

4: Odo - Yeah, he's the guy from Benson, but the character grows and changes so much over the course of the series.  I liked him early on when he was the one dependable person.  I liked him later when he became all too human, even after becoming a shapeshifter again.  He was a well-developed, well-rounded character.

3: Miles O'Brien - Brought on from the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation as a way of providing some degree of continuity, I didn't care for O'Brien early on, but as the show carried on and O'Brien's character developed, I came to like him more and more.  He stars in a few cool episodes, not the least of which were Hard Time, in which he if given the horrible memory of spending 20 years in prison, and Hippocratic Oath, in which he goes against a direct order and destroys Doctor Bashir's opportunity to cure the enemies of a genetic chemical dependency in order to allow himself and the Doctor to escape their imprisonment, which was a pretty bold move.

2: Elim Garak - All Cardassians looked alike to me until Garak.  They are an alien race with heavy makeup and prosthetics, so there was nothing to really distinguish them from one another, but Dukat changed all that.  The former spy and current tailor had a personality that was at once clever, coy, and intriguing, and throughout much of the series you couldn't be sure whether he was a good guy or a bad guy.  By the end, he was one of the good guys, which was fitting and felt right.

1: Quark - I hated Quark in season 1.  Hated him.  He was so one-dimensional and seemed to be there for comic relief.  Gladly his character developed and grew over the course of the show, and actor Armin Shimerman took charge and made the Quark character his own.  In Far Beyond the Stars (easily my favorite episode of the series), although not appearing as Quark, Shimerman is fantastic and shows how he is able to breathe so much life into Quark.

Didn't give the nod to Jeffrey Combs, who played Shran on Enterprise and may be my favorite non-main-cast character in the Star Trek universe.  He played Weyoun in DS9, but the character never really gave him the range that the Shran character did.  Too bad.  If you like the Kooz Top 5, why not prove it by liking us on Facebook!  And as always, we love it when you share your thoughts in the comments below.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Top 5 Baseball Scandals

I watched Melky Cabrera for a few years as a Yankee.  The guy did not have all-star talent.  That's why, after he spent most of the year leading the majors in hits, I wasn't surprised to learn he'd abused banned substances then planned to lie about it on appeal.  But his is far from the worst offense in Major League Baseball history.  Below are the top 5 scandals the MLB (or it's predecessors) have ever dealt with.

5: Benny Kauff is a thief; or isn't.  You don't know Benny Kauff because he hasn't played baseball for almost 100 years.  But he was good--he played 8 years to a .311 career batting average.  In 1919 he was arrested for operating a car-theft ring.  He was acquitted in 1921, but baseball's Commissioner, Kenisaw Mountain Landis, decided that the acquittal was "one of the worst micarriages of justice," and promptly banned Kauff from baseball for life.  You decide which was the scandal here.

4: All-Stars lie to Congress.  In 2005 and again in 2008, some of baseball's top players stood in front of Congress, some under oath, and lied about steroid use (or evaded questions, or didn't lie) in baseball.  Jose Canseco, a once baseball star, author of a book expose about steroids in baseball, and bitter, bitter man sat--somewhere--smiling.  And probably homeless.  After the 2005 testimony, Congress confirmed the sham-concern of the event by eagerly awaiting photo ops with their favorite cheating ball players.

Real picture.  Rose should be banned for this and this alone.
3: Pete Rose bets on baseball.  In 1987, Pete Rose bet on baseball.  He was the Manager of the Cincinnati Reds at the time.  In addition to his unreported winnings, Rose--baseball's career leader in all-time hits--also took home the coveted "banned from baseball" moniker.  His lifetime ban means he will never be honored in the Hall of Fame (at least, not during his lifetime).

Sharpened cleat to the groin.  That isn't a slide, it's a jump-kick.
2: Ty Cobb is a douche.  Not a scandal per se, but a scandalous career.  Ty Cobb might be the best player in history.  When he was elected to be among the first class of Hall of Fame inductees, he received the most votes.  That's more than Babe Ruth.  He received more votes than Cy Young and Lou Gehrig combined!  He was also a giant douche.  He sat out games toward the end of a season to preserve a minuscule lead in batting average over an opponent.  He sharpened his metal spikes so he could injure players when sliding into bases.  He was an unrepentant racist who slapped a black elevator operator then stabbed a black security guard for trying to intervene.  He was accused of fixing games on multiple occasions.  He went into the stands and beat up a heckling fan who had no hands; the fan "deserved" it for calling Cobb's mother "half-black."  He also strangled an umpire until fans forced him to stop.  He was a dick.  A scandalous dick.

1: The Black Sox cheat.  The 1919 Chicago White Sox went to the World Series, and lost behind a bunch of bungled plays and missed opportunities at the plate.  Several players were quickly accused of throwing the game for cash and brought up on criminal charges.  Although eventually acquitted, eight players received lifetime bans from baseball immediately following their acquittal.  Among them was one of the best players ever to live--"Shoeless" Joe Jackson--much to Ty Cobb's probable delight.  The team 's dirty deeds earned them the nickname "Black Sox."

Man, I wish I could add how Ruben Rivera of the New York Yankees once stole Derek Jeter's glove from his locker and sold it to a memorabilia dealer, but there wasn't enough room.  Oh well.  Can you think of any scandals I missed?  Share in the comments below, and please like our Facebook page for daily updates sent right to your Facebook feed!

Top 5: My Problems With This Lady

This lady. 
 
Unacceptable behavior for the train, including the following.

5: When the ride is over, get off the train.  This one didn't affect me, but it was just weird.  She just sat there looking around, even though everyone else was off the train.  She wasn't on the phone or finishing a book or anything.  Weird.

4: When you get on the train, and there is a line of people waiting to get on behind you in the morning rush, either go left to the many open seats, or right to the many open seats.  Don't stand in the vestibule confused as to which of the two options you should take.

3: If you don't make a decision as to which aisle to walk down, at least move to one side while you choose and let people slip past you.

2: When you do choose a direction, walk down the aisle and sit in an open seat.  This seat is just as good as the open one behind it.  They are exactly the same.  That's how trained are designed.  It isn't a hard choice. Just sit!

1: The train is not an acceptable place for you to clip your nails. The clicking is louder than you think and annoying.  Also, gross.

I'm pretty sure she saw me writing this, but it's okay--truth is a defense for libel.  Back to your usual programming tomorrow.  Don't forget to leave a comment below and like us on Facebook.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Top 5 Failed Social Media Sites

Social media was a billion dollar idea, but before Facebook nailed the formula for domination, many others tried and failed.  In the post-Facebook-ruling-the-social-media-world era, challengers have squared off against Facebook, only to head home with their tails between their legs and their sites unvisited.  Here are the top 5 failed social networks (so far):

5: Friendster - Grandpappy of the social media family, this was the first site to gain traction with the idea of being "friends" online with people you were friends with in real life.   Launched in 2002, Friendster (whose clever name means little to anyone too young to remember Napster) was belle of the online social ball.   Google even offered a $30 million buyout!  Friendster didn't accept and is now relegated to a dirty corner of the interwebs as an online gaming site out of Malaysia.

4: Diaspora - Touted as the Facebook killer, Diaspora was designed to be easy to navigate and simple to understand, while allowing you to own and control all your data.   It came out around the same time as Google+, and looked almost exactly the same.   Also, it took forever to load and nobody used it.  Nobody.   A bit of anecdotal evidence: of my thousand plus Google contacts, zero were signed on to Diaspora.  None.   Now the Diaspora site has disappeared promising to launch in the future.  Huh?

3: Orkut - "What the hell is Orkut," you ask?  It is an early attempt by Google to break into social networking.  Launched in 2004 by Google, Orkut caught on in Brazil, has some following in India, and is pretty much non-existent everywhere else.  So what the hell is Orkut?  Trust me, you don't care.

2: MySpace - A year after Friendster premiered, MySpace came out and almost immediately cast a long shadow over its rival.  MySpace was a place for musicians to share their work.  It later became the online hotspot where anyone could have a personal web page.  Still later it was that place where everyone's personal web page forced you to hear their choice of crappy music every time you loaded their page, and which forced you to publicly announce who your top 8 friends were, invariably forcing you to leave people out only to be confronted by them in actual reality.  Now it's known as that place that Justin Timberlake bought to pretend he actually is the character he played in The Social Network, and which everyone, including its founder (Tom), thinks of as an older, crappier version of Facebook.

1: Google+ - Google owns everyone's identity, but it hasn't been able to translate that knowledge and power into a social network anyone wants to use.   Google+ is well-designed and is better and nicer than Facebook, yet nobody uses it.   Despite the ubiquity of Gmail accounts, people aren't interested in getting started on a new social network, and those who have logged on once and established their account don't go back.  It's a ghost town that even corporations ignore.  Including Google.

These are the top 5, to say nothing of iTunes Ping, ConnectU, Yahoo! Buzz, Iyomu, six degrees, and a hundred other niche social networking sites that failed to launch or never caught on after take off.  Eventually Facebook will join them, but with no viable challengers in the current crop of websites, we'll just have to sit back and wait for the day when we can add them to this list.  In the meantime, like us on Facebook and share us with your friends.  Or leave a comment below to share your social networking memories!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Top 5 Annoyances While Waiting to See the Doctor

I had an appointment with my doctor this morning, so I arrived 15 minutes early set to be poked and prodded, as doctors are wont to do.  I was not, but should have been, prepared for the following things.


5: There was no parking.  What is it with doctor's offices never having enough parking?  People with bum knees and bad backs are forced to walk from parking lots of neighboring businesses in order to see their knee or back doctor--it's crazycakes!

4: I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork.  Again.  Asking the same questions I answered last time I was here, six months ago.  I am pretty sure this is a stall tactic at this point--something to take my mind off the fact that the doctor won't quite see me yet.

3: Thankfully I have my phone, otherwise the only thing to do after filling out my paperwork would be to read a couple of local area magazines or an issue of Sports Illustrated looking forward to the 2011 Superbowl.  And the lack of something to do mattered, because...

2: I arrived on time for my 9:30 appointment only to wait 45 minutes to be seen.  How many people could have been scheduled and gone before me to throw things so far off schedule so early in the day?  But the worst thing was...

1: The woman next to me was silently reading one of the old magazines the doctor has lying around, only this woman was reading it out loud in a whisper, interposing moans between the sentences, pausing only to lick her fingers as though finishing a plate of juicy Texas-style slow-cooked barbecue ribs in order to get traction to turn the pages.  To be clear, she's sick, and she's touching the communal reading materials with her spit soaked paws.  Nice.

I know you've been in my shoes.  What things annoyed you about the doctor's office?  Share below, and don't forget to join our Facebook community by liking our Facebook page!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Top 5 Worst John Sterling Home Run Calls

Anyone who has listened to a Yankee game on the radio knows announcer John Sterling.  In recent years he's become a caricature of himself--to paraphrase Star Wars, he's more schtick than man now.  Worse than anything else he does are the homerun calls.  He assigns a special catch phrase to each Yankee, each worse than the last.  Here are the top 5 worst of all time:

5: Melky Cabrera - "The Melkman delivers."  John, there are no milkmen anymore.  You might as well tell us to strike up the gramophone or Victrola.  Unfortunately, I have no video or audio for this one--if anyone can find it, add it in the comments please.  All this for a guy who just got a 50 game suspension for violating the league's banned substance policy.

4: Russell Martin - "Russell shows muscle.  Monsieur Martin est la."  Because Martin speaks French.  I don't know or care what this means.  Dumb.  Ugh.

3: Curtis Granderson - "Oh Curtis, you're something sort of grandish! Oh, the grandy-man can...  The grandy-man can..."  Yeah, he sings the last part.  Nothing connects with today's kids than lines from 1940's musicals and 40 year old songs.  

2: Lance Berkman - "Sir Lancelot rides to the rescue!  C'est lui!  C'est lui!"  It just sounds ridiculous.

1: Mark Texeira - "He sends a Tex-message to the right field bleachers.  you're on the Mark, Texeira."  A "Tex-message"?  What does that even mean?  Even if the guy's name was Text, why the hell would you call it a Text message?  Who has ever referred to a homerun as a text message?  A blast, bomb, longball, shot, dinger, dong, homer, goner, laser, missle, four-bagger, jack, and round-tripper, sure.  Never a text message.  This is just stupid.  And don't get me started on the second part with the name pun.

I used to love listening to Sterling and Kay--when I was in my early teens, I'd watch games with the volume off so I could listen to the radio's audio.  Now, between Sterling's terrible comments and Suzyn Waldman's screeching, I'd rather sit in silence than listen to the game.  How about you?  What do you think of Sterling's calls?  Do you have a favorite or least favorite?  Share with us below.  And don't forget to follow us on Facebook by pressing that big 'ol LIKE button.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Top 5 Things That Happen to All of Us

Christie is back to bring you today's top 5...

Stupid things happen to us that can throw us off our game at any moment.  My one saving grace is knowing that these things happen to all of us and therefore, I no longer feel alone in my misery of the day to day minutia.  Here are the top 5 things that happen to each and everyone one of us at some point or another…

5: Stepping into water with socks on.  Never fails, you take your shoes off after a long day, or just get into your comfy clothes after a nice shower and walk into the kitchen only to not realize that there is a little water on the floor.  You accidentally walk into this mutant water spot and suddenly your warm and cozy socks are now cold and nasty foot-sponges.  What makes this phenomenon worse is, even if you change your socks, that cold spot on your foot will remain for hours afterwards making you feel as if you keep stepping in that puddle over and over again.

4: Water in the ear.  You are taking a nice long, hot shower and belting out a little Katy Perry as loud as you can and without shame.  Then a rogue drop of H2O makes its way into your ear canal and suddenly you hear everything as if you were in an underwater tank at Sea World.   It’s so bad you’d swear you will be able to hear Shamu’s whalesong at any moment!  So of course you start to do the dance.   You know the one—the one leg is up, you’re hopping on the other and have your neck in a position it was never meant to go into all in the hopes that the little water droplet will make its escape.  And when it does, there is a rush of relief and loud noises that let you know that your drama is over.  Unless of course while you’re jumping around, you get water in the other ear too—then you’re just screwed!

3: Aluminum Foil.   I am someone who uses foil on pretty much a daily basis.  I think it is a rather awesome invention and the people at Reynolds should be praised in a little ritual of some sort.  There are two pet peeves with this miracle of modern invention though…  The first is when you are all set to use this wonder of all things shiny, take out the roll and all that comes out is a piece so small that it wouldn’t even wrap around a hot dog.  Sometimes you get desperate and try to shape it in a way that would fit your task, but more times than not, you end up throwing this little piece away after you’ve made a super tiny little ball out of it.  The second is when you don’t realize the roll is cut slightly off and you think you’re about to pull out a full sheet of it and instead, end up getting a smaller and smaller sliver until it’s thinner than a toothpick.

2: Walking into a web.  Whether it be spider or cob, we all do it and it will make you feel creepy the rest of the day!   Did this just the other day too, just as I was going out.  I thought I looked pretty nice, was having a good hair night and as I was walking between two cars in my parking lot, I walked face first into a big web. (I know better too—there are always webs between the cars.)  Needless to say, I ended jumping around a bit, looking like a spaz and feeling ookie the rest of the evening!

1: Running out of toilet paper.  The less said about this one the better.

So there you go; 5 things that happen to all of us at some time and are just life’s little ways of saying, "Hey having a good day? We can fix that!"  What is your little day-to-day pet peeve?  Someone take the last plastic fork in the cafeteria?  Printer run out of ink?  Stub your toe on the same bedpost you’ve been stubbing it on for years?  Let us know in the comments or on Facebook (and while you're there, like our page)!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Top 5 Incorrect 5th Grade Rhymes

There were all kinds of songs and jingles that classmates put into my head when I was 10 or so.  As I think back, I'm reminded how clueless 10-year-olds can be.  Here are the top 5 incorrect things I learned from songs and rhymes in 5th grade.


5: Popeye the Sailor Man neither lives in a garbage can, nor eats worms and germs.  Toot toot!

4: When you're swimming in the pool and you feel something cool, it is almost never diarrhea.

3: Milk, okay.  Milk, sure.  Lemonade?  Not so much...  Don't even get me started on the fudge 'round the corner.

2: There is not a piece of glass behind the refrigerator.  I checked.  And even if there were, nobody would sit upon it and cut their big fat ask me no more questions.

1: It turns out that on the other side of France where the naked ladies dance, there is not a hole in the wall where the men can see it all.  I've checked it out on Google Maps.

Hope you guys remember the originals (otherwise most of these make no sense and are just gross).  If you think of more, we'd love for you to share in the comments or on our Facebook page (where we'd also love for you to like us)!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Top 5 Favorite Voice Actors (Currently Active)

You can name a dozen actors off the top of your head, but how many voice actors can you name?  These actors, unknown relative to their on-screen peers, have delivered big laughs and lasting memories.   Here are my favorite voice actors working today.

5: Frank Welker - You've never heard of him, but you've heard him.  Welker is the voice of Megatron and Soundwave (Transformers), Fred (Scooby Doo), Ray Stanz and Slimer (The Real Ghostbusters), Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget), and various other characters on just about every 80's cartoon you care about.  He's still very busy today.  And amazing.

4: Peter Newman - ThunderCats, SilverHawks, and Archer.  We've been over this before...

3: Billy West - Among many, many others, Fry from Futurama.  Also, best Mel Blanc impression ever.

2: Patrick Warburton - He is on-screen as often as off, and he's funny in his live roles, but he kills it as the voice of Brock Samson on The Venture Brothers.  Also, he's Joe on Family Guy.

1: H. Jon Benjamin - His best work was as Jason and Coach McGuirk on Home Movies, but he's also Archer, Bob from Bob's Burgers, and a bunch of recurring characters on shows like Family Guy, The Venture Brothers, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Apologies to the many voice actors on The Simpsons and Seth McFarlane's shows.  You're wonderful, but this is a list of favorites.  Also, James Hereth could crack the list were he to have a few more roles.   Loved him in Race.  Who are your favorites?  Share in the comments below, and like our page on Facebook.