Monday, January 14, 2013

Top 5 Things People Say to Make Being Poor More Palatable

People without money are always pointing out how not having money is better than having money--all the while trying to get as much money as possible and deposit themselves into the "rich" category.  Here are the stupidest excuses and rationalizations we say to make ourselves feel better than the rich.

5: Can't buy me love.  Nope, but you can buy enough trinkets and pay for enough dates to get something pretty similar without the baggage.  Also, ever notice how rich people appear prettier?

4: Mo money, mo problems.  No.  Mo money, fewer problems.  And the problems decrease in severity too--rich people complain about taxes, but never about not having enough to eat.

3: Health is better than wealth.  Yeah, true.  Know what's best though?  Health and wealth.  And the money buys you access to better health care.

2: The best things in life are free.  Except none of them are.  None.  Don't give me "love" or "happiness"--none.

1: Money can't buy happiness.  In the words of the immortal Weird Al, "if money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it."  Who are we kidding.

Let's face it--money is not a burden; we'd all be happier with a little more of it.  If you disagree, contact the Kooz Top 5 and we'll be happy to take your excess cash off your hands.  Or you could just like our Facebook page and comment below!


  1. Damn straight we'd all be happier with a little more cash! Anybody who disagrees is either rich or just plain lying through their teeth.

  2. To quote pop icon and reality star, Cyndi Lauper: "Money Changes Everything."

    To quote myself: "...For the better!"