Showing posts with label New Year's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Year's. Show all posts

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Top 5 Predictions for 2013

Last year, we made predictions for 2012, and as it turns out, we are better than the psychics!   So of course, we are doing the same for 2013.  We've peered into our crystal ball, looked at our Tarot cards, then we simply asked our most frequent writers to make their best guests.  Here's our top 5 predictions for 2013.

5: Dan predicts: Fanboys will be so torn about the upcoming Star Wars trilogy (which won't be in theaters til 2015) that several new websites will pop up downing it, or hyping it, including fan made trailers about how it will suck, or be awesome.

4: Sooz predicts: Guy Smiley will be embroiled in a game show rigging scandal.

3: Dan predicts: That someone will again come up with a new end times prediction!

2: Christie predicts: As I write this, it is still a couple of days before the well-known Mayan end of the world 12-21-12 dealio we’ve been hearing about for quite some time now.  I’m assuming we’re all going to make it, so I figured I’d share my personal thoughts on what 2013 will bring.  (However if we don’t make it, well then, just ignore this post.)  Personally I’m looking forward to 2013.  Although I do believe there will be global domination by a very strong entity.  This particular group has been slowly moving towards total world-wide control over the past year and it seems to be a real threat. I speak of course about Big Bang Theory.   What started out as an innocent half-hour of comedic pleasure on Monday evenings has been growing and growing to a phenomenon unlike any other we’ve seen before!  Marathons of it are on three days a week, it is on late-night TV, it is now even taking slots of shows that have recently been cancelled.  How could we have missed this?  For it is written: “and the geeks shall inherit the earth.” It has affected my life in very personal ways.  The names of Sheldon, Leonard, Wolowitz and Kuthrapali are used in everyday conversation.  I can’t walk into a room without knocking three times and saying, “Penny” after each 3-knock sequence.  When I am sick, I sing ‘Soft Kitty’ to myself.  And I’ve changed my Wi-Fi password to “Pennyisafreeloader” (no spaces).  Big Bang is starting to have as much power as Law and Order: SVU and just like SVU, I find myself watching it almost every single time it’s on.  If it wasn’t such a good show, obviously, there would be no reason to air it as much as it does.  And unlike other shows, this one keeps getting funnier as their seasons go on.  By the end of 2013, it is my prediction that Big Bang will be on 24/7, taking only Flag Day off, and will be greeted by the masses with cheer and jubilation. Happy New Year Everyone--BAZINGA!

1: Kooz predicts: Everyone in Christie's neighborhood (or those who make it through her entire post) will steal her internet and give thanks to the Kooz Top 5 for providing her password.

We'd love to hear your predictions below--make 'em serious, make 'em funny, just make 'em.  We'll look back in a year and see how we all did!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Top 5: Our 2012 Predictions (How'd We Do?)

In an attempt to be like these crazy bastards, we made some predictions for 2012.  I'm going to call it--we just might be psychic.  Here are our guesses predictions, along with our interpretations of the outcomes:

5: A major earthquake will cause damage to a heavily populated area.  Hit.
On August 11, 2012, magnitude 6.4 and 6.3 earthquakes hit Iran, a very populous nation.

4: McDonald's will suffer a major setback and will issue a public statement.  Hit.
McDonald's tried to promote itself using hashtags, which were subsequently used by people to bash the company.  The company later stated the promotion "did not go as planned."

3: Betty White will suffer major health problems.  Miss.
I could not find anything to twist into a hit on this one.  Betty White is so f*cking healthy, it's disgusting.  Really, I thought this would be a gimme.

2: Facebook will issue an update which will cause users to petition against the change.  Hit.
Straight from Wikipedia: "In November 2012 several tech writers and bloggers reacted negatively to Facebook's new couples page feature, which automatically created new joint profile pages for people with a relationship listed on the site."

1: An unexpected politician will rise to prominence in the GOP, but will fall because of a sex scandal.  Hit.
Herman Cain was, for a heartbeat, a front runner in the Republican Presidential primaries.  His Presidential bid ended when several women accused him of sexual harassment and at least one woman accused him of a decade-long affair.

We have an excellent track record, an 80% hit rate!  And from the comments:
Anonymous predicted that "a noted psychic will be incorrect in their prediction, but will find a way to convince their followers that they were actually right."  Yep, this is more of a given than a prediction.
Jamoy predicted that "a giant monkey will build an army of smaller monkeys and ravage the earth of all bananas."  So close, but no, they were apes, not monkeys.

Keep an eye out for our 2013 predictions, and don't forget to like us on Facebook!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Top 5 Kooz Predictions for 2012

Every psychic out there makes predictions for the new year, but they all have a few things in common.  They make a ton of predictions, so the odds are in their favor.  The predictions are also either so vague as to make them applicable to many circumstances, or they play the odds (in predicting celebrity deaths, Amy Winehouse was a safer bet than, say, Heath Ledger the year before).  Here are my "psychic" guesses.

5: A major earthquake will cause damage to a heavily populated area.

4: McDonald's will suffer a major setback and will issue a public statement.

3: Betty White will suffer major health problems.

2: Facebook will issue an update which will cause users to petition against the change.

1: An unexpected politician will rise to prominence in the GOP, but will fall because of a sex scandal.  

Make your predictions below--at the end of the year we'll revisit and see how we did!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Top 5 Realistic New Year's Resolutions

Here are my resolutions for the new year, along with how I expect them to go.  I resolve to:

5: Visit Family and Friends - Respond "yes" to every Evite; skip the New Year's brunch I'm invited to because I'm hung over.  Decide that since I've already blown this one, I'll focus on the other four.

4: Start Exercising - Sign up for a gym membership.  Go twice, then sign up for a spin class that I skip.  Constantly find excuses to avoid going to the gym.  By June, start looking into what the penalty is for canceling my gym membership early.

3: Quit Drinking - Let's see, I started drinking on New year's Eve, but kept drinking past midnight.  Busted... Next?

2: Eat Healthy - ("Healthily"?  I dunno.)  Eat yogurt for breakfast, almonds for a snack, salad for lunch, and fish for dinner; crash and eat a tub of ice cream in front of the t.v. at 11:30; go to bed wallowing in self-loathing and contempt, feeling like the fat pig I am and always will be.  Keep this up until January 3rd, then lose all pretense of eating right.

1: Save Money - Only spend money on things that I need to.  Waste money on a gym membership, booze, ice cream.  Resolve to make better resolutions next year.

Share your resolutions below!  (Or tell us how quickly you broke them!)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Sunday musings... New Year's Rockin' Eve.

Anyone want to explain to me who these acts are, why they warrant watching, and why nobody I've ever heard of is performing except for Lady Gaga?  Not just New Year's Rockin' Eve, but Anderson Cooper's thing, and all the other shows I've seen.  Pit Bull, are you serious?  Enough.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Top 5 Favorite Vodkas

New Year's Eve--a time when millions across the country drink themselves into a stupor to watch a crystal ball slide down a pole while the guy from American Idol makes fun of Dick Clark on the down low.  Anyway, I'm phoning it in today, since nobody will be reading this...  Here are my top 5 favorite vodkas.

5: Blavod - The only one that makes the list because of its gimmick, Blavod is black vodka.  It tastes like Absolut, so you better mix it with something, but it's a pretty cool thing to have for Halloween.

4: Purus - The best vodka you've never tried.  Despite being hugely unpopular, Purus is amazingly smooth and light--almost refreshing (if you can say that about a drink you can light on fire).

3: Van Gogh - Famous dead painter vodka--it's smooth and crisp with a nice, mild flavor.  Definitely for sipping.  Nice bottle too--excellent for a recent college grad to display in the window of his loft apartment; easily passes as modern art.

2: Chopin - Famous dead pianist vodka (one-ups famous dead painter vodka)--it's velvety and smooth, with an almost sweet aftertaste.  Also a nice bottle--toss a candle in there and you're all set to trick a hippy into sleeping with you!

1: Grey Goose - The standard by which all other vodkas are measured.  I think it's the best, but you'll hear people say whether it's better or worse than Grey Goose, and in what ways.  Goose lost some cred when it started making about 83 various flavored vodkas (do we really need kumquat and pickle infused vodka?), but it's still the leader of the pack.  So smooth--a vodka taste without any alcoholic bite.

I used to be a vodka rocks guy, ow I'm on to gin and tonic, but I had plenty of high-end vodkas in my time.  But, as always, use the comments below to tell me why I'm wrong.